nightmare, an excerpt from my dream diary

This is new for me, but I like to think my dreams are potent enough to be enjoyed….

I had a nightmare concerning my cousin Susan and I found it hard to get back to sleep for a while, it had me in tears…

It started out fine, both on the same path to get over a small hill, but she had a slight disadvantage, her legs or lower back was hampering her movements, and I assist her with no second thoughts to the matter- I didn’t see the problems, but enjoyed the laughter and shared warped humour. We were hungry, had a long walk and found a café/market place where we went, I had some money, but Susan said there was no point in me wasting it…she was fast and stole some bread from the kitchen- and took off in a flash…I just watched, a little shocked and also annoyed that she just left.

Then the chase was on, I had to follow her as she went to some dangerous places, so somebody would be there to help her if she did fall or hurt herself. In the mad rush, I’d see the faces of my aunt (Susan’s mom) and her elder sister, no expression, but just watching, like they had seen it all before and were so tired now…the youngest sister, was still a little girl in this dream and crying, then gone from the sides. I caught my aunt’s eyes as I rushed past, and they looked so defeated…

Scene changed and I was trying to convince Susan to get down from this whopping great ladder she was up- butt naked with a scrubbing brush and cleaning the filth off the tail end filters of a huge plane- apparently it was the job requirements to be disrobed… I went into her head for a moment and saw and felt what she did up so high, the inertia, but also the clarity of what she had to do for the money she needed from such a jerk of a boss, who watches his employees from below, sometimes coming up and ‘bothering’ with them….she was afraid that it was her turn this time, and I was still seeing it all from her view as the boss was down below and starting to come up the ladder with a really sleazy and perverted sneer…ugly mother fucker too…I told her to get off the ladder while inside her head, told her it’s a dream and she can jump and not get hurt, I’ll help her…she was scared, and also really not wanting that guy near her again…she leapt and I helped her find a nice place to land without hurting herself, but I also lost the connection when she landed, and saw her running away again. The boss was after her…seeming to know where she was going too.

I was stuck somehow, unable to get up fast enough and he was with her in a house, and I could hear her screaming at him, his laughter and threats and her shrieks. I got my movement back and ran to the house, was outside for less than a minute to assess the situation, then took off my own clothes as I made the conscious reasoning that what I was going to do would get messy and be hard to wash off …

I rushed in, grabbed a large white handled knife, found him kneeling over her, unaware of me yet- he was too occupied in trying to slash her neck, slowly, like he had just done with her wrists. I had no idea who he was, nor did I care, just that he was hurting her and meant to kill her. I grabbed a handful of his greasy black hair and yanked his head up to expose his own neck and brought the knife down in a wondrous arc and hacked the head off in one go, his body went limp, pissing blood and occasionally jerking with last spasms of ebbing life… I threw the head over my shoulder and dropped the knife and went to my cousin who was by all means inconsolable…blood gushing from two death bringing slashes to the wrists and a horrid gash on the throat, I tried to grab her hands to stop the flow, but she found a renewed strength in her madness, and pulled away from me, eyes darting, occasionally looking at me with such pain, blood soaked and trying not to slip in the great pool on the floor…

A fire broke out, and it was consuming the house fast, I saw the faces of my aunt and cousins behind a closed door waiting for us….but keeping still, I tried to grab Susan to come with me, and told her there was still some time left, we could get help…but she literally threw me from her and I went crashing through a door, the door that would take me out of that danger and she ran further into it, I saw her burn up, and beneath the screams and licking flames and horrid stench of burnt flesh, she smiled at me and looked at peace….I burst into tears and watched her crumble to the floor…woke up and cried my little heart out….