…no emotions

…i cant feel… im so calm… the only thing i feel is complete and sudden rage… and i have the humor of a madman..er..woman… i dont know… its so weird… its always been there… whatever it is… but never has it came out and showed so much… and i know this isnt all… i dont know if i want to know if it decided to go full blown someday… i might end up killing people… and i wouldnt feel any guilt or pain or saddness…its like all my emotions have drained from me…besides as i said rage… and my fuct up humor… and all my ‘friends’ keep asking me stupid questions..thats all they do…ask me stupid fucking questions i know i cant answer them because they;re not willing to understand…they say they are, but i know, i know they’re not…and theres no way i can put it into words that they would understand….they;re so close minded… you know?…one of my friends is all pissed off at me, she said she was hoping we could be really good friends but if i cant tell her whats up then she doesnt think we can be… but i tried to tell her, first to stop asking stupid questions, then i told her a million times that she wouldnt understand and i was right, she didnt, she kept asking me how i knew she wouldnt get it if i didnt tell her, but i knew she wouldnt understand for the simple fact that she was saying that …..anyways….my ‘best friend’ is trying to tell me what she thinks iis wrong with me… fuck, i know what is… she has no clue…no clue whatso-ever….