No one understands what its really like. What its really like to be a Vampire.
I’ve read books, lots of books and seen a multitude of movies. Its all the same – vampires are immortal, they kill, they hunt, they have long, long teeth and of course, they fly, sleep in coffins and the sun burns them.
It makes me laugh, how it makes me laugh so hard. People can be so clueless.
People cannot be made into vampires, they are born.
I was born a Vampire, though I did not realise this till this year. I was overcoming an illness at the time – I caught the flu on the second day of the school term ( im in year ten ), then for five weeks recovered and sunk into a deep depression which involved cutting myself ( though I did not drink my blood.)
Whilst I was recovering I went through many emotions. I felt tired in the daytime, but active at night. I started predicting things which came true and at the time scared me. I hated the sunlight, people became very lethargic in my presence.
I thought this might of been just my recovery process, or maybe the side effects of the anti depressents I was on. I even went as far as to think maybe it was my craft nature creeping back up on me. ( i was a practicing witch for eight years.)
Anyways… days later I was browsing through a few websites, looking at Vampires as my friends and I had developed an obsession for Queen Of The Damned ( Stuart Townsend is just so hot mmm). I came across a website ” www.vampire-church.com ” which is a website for people who are REAL vampires.
At first I thought “Ok..what wierdos, they think they are real vamps – talk about freaks !”. I started reading some of the posts on the message boards. Nothing really took my fancy till I got to the Psi Vamp section. My blood ran cold. There were people on this board who were describing the exact same symtoms as me. Some had been ‘awakened’ after a long illness and that really hit home.
I was so scared at first. Its cool to joke about being a vampire, to watch movies , read books and to write stories. But being a REAL vampire? It was like someone comming up to me and saying ” Oh yeah, by the way your a ghost or your a cartoon character.” I didn’t believe it.
I talked to a few of the vampires on the site, I talked things through with them, explained to them I was a christian – i couldn’t be a vamp. They explained that vampires are any religion, they aren’t evil, and yes, it sounded VERY much like I was a vampire.
I was so confused – but as I read more of the posts I realised these people were normal too. They didnt sleep in coffins, they didn’t fly – sure some drank blood , but some drank energy . ( I am more of an energy drinker though I have drunk blood before.) These people had normal jobs, went to normal schools. They were normal !
I am still a bit confused with my ‘ awakening ‘ , and its difficult. I am not a full on vampire yet, but that might happen later as I am told. I don’t mind the sun, it does irrate me but I can still go out in it. At the moment it is winter so I dont need my sunglasses – its very dark. I bite people, but its out of fun – my friends and I play around. I have to be careful though – a couple of days ago I bit my friend very hard – i didn’t no my own strength I guess and now they have a BIG red mark * sorry sam 🙁 *
My friends don’t know yet – I go to a Christian school and If I told some of them they would freak out – they might not hang around me or they might want to ‘ exorcise my demons ‘ (hehehe.)
Its a lonely exsistance, I know how it feels and if anyone would like to talk to me about it, whether your a real vamp or not, please feel free to email me at slashtrash@vampire-church.zzn.com
Love Cait