Nothing Ever Happened

I was sitting in the bathtub taking a long bubble bath. I kept staring into the flames of the candels that surrounded and lit up the bathtub. I always felt desturbed, but in the bathtub i felt it then more then ever. It was something about the darkness. It comforted me. As I stared into the fire i thought about how much i hated my miserable life and that i just wanted to die. I thought about anything and everything that made my life so shity. I just sat there staring into the flames and cried. All of the sudden my thoughts and comfortness was enterupted. It was someone saying,” Hurry the Hell up. Did you drowned or something.” I thought to myself I Wish, but i didn’t say that. Instead I siad in my happy little voice, ” OK. I’m getting out. I just have to brush my hair and stuff.” I got out of the bathtub, grabed my comb,and sat on th toilet seet. I was still staring into the fire. I thought about ways to kill myself right then and there: I could put a plug into the water get in and turn on the switch. I could OD on drugs. I could cut myself with a razor. I thought of alot of ways to do it, but nothing sounded good enough. Then, there was a puond on the door,” Didnt you hear me the first time you fucking bitch.Get the Hell out of there.’ So, I took 4 advills to go to sleep and not dream of the nightmares of my life, cleaned up the bathroom, and went out to the living room aand pretended nothing happened. Pretended that my life was perfect, but of course it isn’t.