Nothing Makes Sense.

I don’t know What the Fuck I am Any more, I’m 13, and turning 14, And I’ve already Lost my mind…

I’m not a goth, But I get along with them, I don’t Cut my self at all…

I don’t wear Just Black, I mostly Wear Jean Or camofloage Pants And a t-shirt… I don’t wear any Kind of make up..I’m Not a Goth! Don’t Call me that,, Every SAys I’m Dangerous, And stuff like that, Well Yeah, I admit I’m Dangerous, I’m 5’1 in height, 105 pounds, And I’m one of the most Feared Person in my SChool. I’m not a goth, I’m not a bully, When some one Gets in my Way, it’s there Falut. I’m Not like Any one You know, Believe me, People think they under Stand me, But THey don’t know shit about me, AT ALL. it’s such A piss off, I don’t even Know me, How can Any one else? ok, well heres How I am, Kinda, When I’m Mad, I usely Sit in the Corner of my Rom in the Dark, I sit against the Wall And Look to the other side of the Room, Or, I rither Go outside and look at the Stars Or just Go walking and Get into a fight, I just Hate almost Every one and thing in this World, I get in a lot of Fights. When I’m mad, and my Family is Around, I’ll Go down stairs And Hit my Walls And stuff like that, For about 1:30Hr Until I Tire My self out, Or I’ll SCream As loud As I can For As Long As i can In my pillow, my FRiends Tease me alot, I like to play Fight with them, But others Says I’m to Dangerous to be Around, For some REason my FRiends Still hang Around With me, my FRiends Say I’m a Solider to the End, With no Fear of any man, and When there Mad at me they go and SAy, “y Don’t u trust any one? Don’t u have Any hope Or Faith? y do u have To bottle every thing up? y Can’t u Share ur emotions with others? y Won’t u Let any one Get close to u? y Do u act like u have no feelings? like u Can’t Get hurt or Sad? y Don’t u have Any Fears? At all?Why Does ur Past Just Have To be such A Sceret? y do u have to be so insensitive? y can’t You Be Normal? y can’t u Become like Every one else?” THe anwers To all Of those Quesntions Are Because of People… I’ve Had a horible Child Hood, I’ve had a horrible Life, My past is just Pain full to look into. I don’t have many memories, The only ones r of Violence, n fighting, I don’t have hope Or faith, I don’t Trust People Either, I bottle up my Emotions To hide THem From the World, Because AS soon as the world can see ur emotions It Attacks them, Emotions r A weak Point, n By Deleting the Weak Point, u can’t get hurt. I don’t know y I’m Not scared of Anything,,, It’s Werid,,, i know people r scared of death or snakes, But not me, I’m not scared of Anyhting, I’m a girl, n I have Never cried,,, well maybe when I was a baby, But When I was younger I Couldn’t Cry, Because my Cosuinz Would fight me, n hit me, I had to take Care of my self Most of the time. I guess thats Why I’m So InDependant now, I think thats how you spell it. I like being alone, It’s when I feel just a little bit safe. my whole life I had to fight for life, People Don’t DArE Disobey me. I made up a saying,
“It’s Better to die alone, then To live with others” I made that up, Because thats what I believe. Guys that just meet me, Think I’m Really cute, But I don’t Feel that way. I know I have a Quick Temper. I’m responsible. a friends once told me, that I’m *searching For answers. Mad n angery on the inside. I’m lost n Running inside. True fighter. Shy when it comes to love. I’m Filled with pain n anger. missunderstood.*
I live by no REgrets, I am missunderstood, my the world n it’s people, n also, by me. I’m cold hearted..A lot of responsibilites lie on me. I’m a mysterious person who doesn’t know my own capabilities. Violence is an issue for me.
I’m not scared to take risks. I risk my life all the time for stupid stunts that r fun. I have to much Courage For my own good. I feel like my Whole life is a mistake, but I still live it, I’m not scared to die, I just don’t know who I am, I know I’m nt like any of you. I don’t know who I am, I know I’m not a Good person. Heres a Quote i like To use alot, “You laugh at me because I’m Diffrent, I laugh at You cuz ur all the Same”
Please, This is one of the only times I Have Ever asked for help, please tell me Who and what I am. oh, If it helps, I’m in love with Two boys, Natehan And Jordan.