pain IS chaos

I thrive on pain
Only self afflicted
Paranoia beats like a dieing heart in my head
and words of caution turn into a threat
self-consiously and slowly i start to kill myself
silently i plea for help
these voices they taunt me!
with unheard words
and i cower, timidly
With my head cradeled in my hands
I scream so quitely that everone hears
frustration and
anger and
hystaria or
am i going crazy?
I might enjoy it, and thats my fear
so ill give in and do what they say
Then ill wake like a dark and powerfilled
Butterfly
From a cacoon of falsehood
And i am strong
And like the schitzophrenic that i am
i tell myself to go away!
then i reah my inner peace
Which to any one else is
CHAOS