Decent into maddness. I feel myself falling. My confidence torn down by the flies. Tear me away from myself before destruction sets in.
Freeze the words in midair before they get to me. Make their faces fade and blur into the mist. Pull aside sorm-weathered curtains to reveal my self confidence hanging from rusted hooks. Pull the stiches closed on the scars and bruises of stupidity. Speak to me in tounges that erase the pain and provoke memories of old to surface. Tears of forgotten gather in my eyes. Reclamation is my goal but if the fall is taken no bones shall be spared.
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Bloody rusted razor in candle light. Cutting deeper in hopes of finding the memory of happiness. Before I cut to bone wings touch my eyes and familiar is spattered into oblivion. Resurfacing in years past into the old and forgotten. Smack in the face as everything hits. All yet still unclear makes sense. My whole life gains meaning. Who I am, what I am, why I am. Separation causes changes within and leaves scars upon my skin. Destroy the beauty, all that is left. Smash it up till you forget what it was before. But someone remembers, only a bit too late. Still, hold on tight and never letting go but pulled apart again. Dying again but now no fear.
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Alone with my thoughts. Morbidity and tears gaining ground. Down in the cycle. Rose petals shatter as they fall into my hands. I crunch up icy pieces in my fists and watch blood drip melodicly down to spatter gently on the marbel. I smile with my thoughts. Happiness so close but it all seems like a dream. I dont think im ready for this. Trying to keep above the water but every breath that keeps me alive pains me. Its all for you. My happiness, my hopes, my dreams. What I have been seeking my whole life. Ironic how now it has been taken away. Distant. Seemingly as far away as the stars. Untouchable perfection. My touch tains you. All I have is my purity. Make me your whore. Destroy me from the inside. Scars from them and their ignorence have destroyed me. Trying so hard not to let you down. Dont want the dream to end. I am dead without the fear. Need you to stay alive.