all my life i have set fires, fascinated with the flame. i have played with explosives, awed by their power. i have toyed with computers, in wonder of how hitting this button and clicking there could fuck up and take so many lives.
i have read books, thousands of them, and wished that i could write… this is my first attempt at anything other than a report, and i would love to hear what everyone thinks.
LIES
at one point the earth was dark
and now it enters the shadows once more
not for lack of sun
but for lack of imagination
slipping into the shadows
of my heart
a cold black rock
from years of abuse
and rejection
it has built a shell
like an ancient and collosal egg
abandoned in a nest
the last of its kind
in a dark world
of lies
WHAT CAN I DO
what do you say
when you want the world
to go away?
what do you think
when you realize
that your life is going down the sink?
what do you know
when the curtains close
and you take your last bow?
what do you feel
when your life becomes clear
and you see death at the wheel?
what do you do
when all of your fears
come true?
THE SHOWER
avoiding sleep like the plague
she showers
hoping in some unconscious way
that the scalding water
would warm her cold dead heart
that the harsh soap
would cleanse the hurt from her mind
that the pain from the razor slicing her wrists
would ease her suffering
maybe if she stood there forever
she would drown and die
but her mind is already dead
it died long ago
cold and gone
like so many pets
like her best and only friend
like the only one she ever loved
as the scalding water pounds her skin
she lies down
and moves on
DEAD PATH
suffering the mistakes of others
this path has been tread before me
twinkle twinkle little star
i wish i wish with all my heart
that i could tread this path to darkness
of my own
for my own
with my own
by my own
as my own
and i could die not alone
but with another whom i have left
to the darkest path
in his darkest hour
him i have loved
and him i have lost
walking my path
running my path
running my path
to darkness