Ramblings of a Malkavian

So you want to know my story eh? Or is it the future that has your intrest? No matter, you will find both here. From begining to end. From Alpha to Omega. Sit down, we have a ways to go then! I will start with my embrace. My embrace was not one of the joyous ones most speak of. No being tied in my lovers arms, but rather a petty trick by a fellow Malkavian. My Sire’s name was Velvette, and we met in a small asylum for the mentally deficient outside of Florence, Italy. I liked my room there. I could smell the flowers outside my barred windows and had endless time to think. So endless did it seem anyway. Looking back on it the measley 14 years speant in solitude was nothing compared to what i have endeavored more recently. Tab? I have an undeniable craving for this stuff. LSD is it called? No matter, my personal supplyee simply calls it “the ‘cid.” Delightful as it may be to you, to one with such advanced delusions as my own it only adds to my insight. So I had sat in solitude from the time I was 4 years old to the time I was 18 and developed certain mental features to accompany me for my loneliness. Were there doctors? Hell no! This was the 1500s my dear! The doctors were morticeans! My room was dark, with a single window and a bucket that I would empty every day by putting it through a small hole in the bottom of the door. I would eat once a day and as I recall the food was quite delicious. A mixture of greens and whites would usually show up on a tinish metal plate every day and every day I would scarf the food as if my life depended on it; for infact my life did depend on it as I was mortal then. On my 18th year in this institution Velvette chose to act. She had a nasty fettish for taking the clinically insane and turning them into malkavians. Some what of a cruel feat indeed but one that I am most thankful for. She came in through the hole in my door one night while I slept. I awoke to a rather sensual and erotic feeling stemming from 2 large fangs in my theigh. I became cold and my vission blurred to white. Suddenly my senses died except for one. My tongue felt something irony and metallic. Blood. She had bitten her lip and was not kissing me. My eyes opened and I thought only of one thing. I thought of feeding. I began crying and she disappeared through the hole in my door. I tried to follow her and to my surprise the world was colorful outside of my cell. The guards were laughing hysterically at absolutely nothing, the walls were bright red, and food was layed out for me. I grabbed one of the lain out boddies and sucked it dry. Mmmmm the beast began to die. I fed again 3 times this night. At that time I did not understand the laughter of the guards but I do now. My sire used a gift of malkavians we call “total insanity.” It rendered the guards as hysterical lunatics. Insanity can be a fun thing.

Da ovuhr dai’ee me and dah Jee’of’ahn’ee waz fietin and den dah boohah didst cum to keel dah jee’of but dah jee’of tooks owt dah guns and dah boo’hah didst get in dah woom and den dah….

Colors all over the place, there was a purple star in the bilay’zee and the can of wonderful light flooded the universe with cain and blood and then the sun shone at night and killed off all the unrighteous children of the night

Soon the moon will show in blood and then cain and abel will happen again between me and my chosen foe, the brujah warlord, Vidkahn. But upon my demise a new world of explosions and death will arise. More that 60% of all stolen nuclear devices are never found and thats how our world will meet demise

My delusions never ceased to grow wilder and wilder, and all of my personalities began stalking me. The beast, it seems, had taken my alternate forms over to be used as my own demise. The world seemed harsch after my embrace, and hell followed me for 200 years. The Camarilla didst fight me because I was without a sire and without any knowledge of the masquerade, while the sabbat fought me simply because of my life as a malkavian. In the year 1804 a fellow malkavian named “Geraldo Merchisimo” taught me of the ways of the world of darkness and of the camarilla. This is where my life truley started. I was soon a learned dementator under a powerful prince in Florence, where I was once again imprisoned against my will, only this time I didnt like the room. it was about the size of your average human refridgerator and smelled of cheap cigarres. The prince was overthrown in the 60s when I moved to SanFransisco, California. Here is where I met the beast again. I decided to stop feeding. Everyone here seemed nice and I really loved the musical stylings of jimi hendrix. Why kill off those who fight the inquisitioning of minorities like the one I percieved myself to be in? After 21 days of not feeding, the beast took me. I slaughtered an entire room of people at a greatful dead concert. Jerry Garcia cried. I fed well that night but realised that there was no reason to starve like this. These humans I took so much stalk in were my prey not my friends.

In the 70s man, I fuckin loved Led Zeppelin and Ted Nudgent and I got into fucking Pink Floyd – WE DONT NEED NO FUCKING EDUCATION MAN! FUCK YEAH! – I was fucking all dazed and confused and shit taht whole fucking time man. Fuckin, god was like “Hey Rinton man, you want to fuckin learn the meaning of your fuckin existance man? Try some of this shit and shit! It was fuckin ‘cid! It was awesome! It made the world calm! So then I was like “Man, There is gunna be a war between 2 fucking rocks man! 1 of em is gunna be a big rock wif a fucking…. er…. uh….. wif alot of money man! The other one is gunna be a fucking little rock that is like… the anarchist rock man! Thne they is gunna fight twice but the big rock never really finishes off the little rock! Thats the future man! fuckin except it man!” WOOHOO PARTEH!

In 1978 I attended a concert by Pink Floyd to the album, “The Wall.” In the concert they featured the wall of bricks being built around a delusionary schizofrenic who fears nothing more than people seeing his true self. This brought me to tears. I was the only one to realise that he did not know his true self at all. He had no true identity because he simply had too many. I likened this to my own situation and

Life is a ball and this ball goes through a hoop. This hoop swings around a body like a freaking…. like a freaking orbiting planet around a sun. The sun is how the universe works and the planet is this dimension. All the other planets are other dimensions.

so I bit teddy despite taht he was a good friend, only to realise he was a stuffed bear

and then my dear….. I am hungry. I will be back soon.