These writings are kind of abstract, in the style of stream of consciousness…
Fear no more fear of death only a welcome embrace that I am not worthy of a splinter a loaded gun a crimson knife oh god what have I done selfishness you’ll be rid of me and I wont be missed no afterthought good riddance the world is a beautiful marred by my ugly soul I need to be cleansed extiguish my flame
let me not exist oh god why I’ll do it for you I’ll go away and never come back take my walking corpse and turn it into a bloody mural on the wall They’ll wash it away and no one will be the worse for it Life is a giant load of sweat tears agony and irony Fade to black be eternal in nothing my final gift to you this last kiss this last breath lasts forever forever in a moment and then the final throws of death beauty in death beauty in death metamorphosis
my death is beautiful BEAUTIFUL
Anxiety fear of lonelyness speaking in tongues Wish you were here wish you still cared cared enough to acknowledge my existence a word now and then to tell me that I meant something to you asking to much bleeding from a sore heart I was fond of what we had an epitome of innocence my world entranced by a single boy a single existence happiness why couldn’t it work why why why tears anger hurt remorse grief for a dead love you never came back you never even took a last look back everything nothing lost gone forgotten come back I am nothing incomplete broken
-Poems 1 and 2, Jared Saiz