You think you understand me but you don’t,
Forbidden truths and dejected hopes.
An intricate web of lies my eyes behold,
Deep pools of bitterness, of pain untold.
A thirst for serenity, a thirst for reason,
Only failing to see the foolishness of this delusion.
Ignoring the hope that is able to save set me free,
Drowning in misery that has now engulfed me.
Satanic thoughts roam wild in my mind.
A hunger for perfection I cannot find.
Am I too lost to be saved and see clearly?
Will I survive all the anguish and this melancholy?
Dark shadows remain in the obscurity,
Perverted and warped they twist my sanity.
Have I gone too far, will sense ever return?
This feeling of helplessness in my stomach churns.
Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken,
Just being haunted by voices unspoken.
Chronically feeling guilty of things I have done,
Immense pressure from which I cannot run.
A lack of sleep, a lack of will,
A lack of emotion I wish to kill.
Striving for excellence, striving for peace,
While being stalked by a whisper that will not cease.
Tears surge down my colourless face,
Piercing ravines of misery that continue to grace.
No control over my actions, no control of what I feel,
Loosing all my faith of what is real.
Screaming inside for salvation and relief,
The option of ecstasy now only a belief.
Searching for light amongst the dark,
A silhouette that from me will not part.
If I had spoken while I still had the chance,
No longer would I be lost in this trance.
I’m praying for the strength of mind,
To leave this realm of depression behind.