Reality Check

Murderous intentions,
feelings of blinding hate.
The scars on my arms,
prove my fragile mental state.

This mental attacks,
I cant take much longer,
what doesn’t kill us
doesn’t make us stronger.

These people have problems.
The ones that think they’re better.
They need a reality check.
They need to read this letter.

Making people feel worthless,
and belittle them in a crowd.
Fuels their anger,
your death they’ve vowed.

When the day comes, and their vengeance has been reaped.
Will u lie in bed, and wonder why me?
Will u know why you’re paying,
so sorrowfully?

I hope to god u do.
No one should go through,
what u put these kids through.

When your life has gone,
what will the people think,
would they take the side of ignorance,
or will they make the link.

The link between what u have done,
and why you’ve died.
Do you realize now,
the pain we hold inside.

All of you will get yours in the end,
you had better watch out.
When the time comes,
your lives will be without.

A final note,
to all my true friends,
that ill love u always,
your my family to the end.

Alone:

Sitting in my room, alone in the dark
The solitude of the silence, inspires this spark.
No friends to comfort me, No friends at all.
Im alone in this world,
To darkness I fall.
A shadow in the light.
That’s what I am to them.
Off in the back round.
A wisp in the wind.
These people don’t care,
Although they say they do.
How can I trust these words,
How can I trust you.
the ones I thought as friends,
took me for granted,
asked me for help,
I listened while you ranted,
and was always there.
When I was in pain,
you didn’t care.
Where the fuck were you.
you said you’d always be there
all those things you said,
I see now were lies.
I guess im just a burden
in your life; in your eyes.
I only wanted your life to be great,
I know what was wrong,
you showed me this hate.
If im being a problem,
by being here,
I’ve found my solution.
Ill just disappear……

Aren’t you glad:

The dark of night,
Crashes in.
As vile blood,
Spills from within

His head is heavy.
His blood runs cold.
His wrists ache,
His mind so bold.

The love in his life,
Shimmered out,
Like the flame of a candle.
His minds filled with doubt.

He lay on his bed,
AS the ligth slowly fades.
He never regretted,
The so called ‘error’ he made.

The night is growing old,
His tiem is drawing near.
Now the sun is coming up,
His life disappears.

As his life goes,
The darkness falls through.
Now that you’ve read this,
Aren’t you glad this isn’t you?

My life:

Lately I’ve spent my nights,
Alone in my room.
I stare at the sky,
Envying the moon.

Im so melancholy,
So morbidly alone.
I hate the feeling of life,
I wish id never known.

All my friends have left me,
When i need them so bad.
Im alone in this world,
Wandering around so sad.

I spend my days,
Dwelling in pain.
Secluding myself from others,
My own life i dream to claim.

Day by day my soul is stained,
Dying, Crying, it drives me insane

I dont wanna die,
But i dont wanna live.
My life is shit,
It’s like im falling through a siv.

I feel like im falling,
Falling into black.
My life has no meaning,
All my “loved” ones turned their back.

Untitled:

Always left out,
Forever alone.
Mo one beside me,
Friends true colours have shown.
I’ll never be good enough,
For my so called friends.
They’ll always be better,
I cannot defend.
To try and gain acceptance,
One thign holds me back,
I can’t change it,
Their so called “requirements” I lack.
Because Im a guy,
Im alienated among my friends.
How can they do this to me,
When will this end?
It never will.
It leaves a hole in me,
A hole i can’t fill.
An empty void,
Engulfed in darkness and pain.
What should I do?
Are my attempts in vain?
Every try is useless,
I can never change.
Why bother trying,
Fuck this is strange.

Untitled:

Suicidal thoughts, run through my mind.
AS my whole life, begins to unwind.
Being alone, again in despair.
This kind of pain, is to much to bare.

I’ve written before, of the pain I have inside.
Repressed emotions, these feelings i hide.
People couldn’t take it, they wouldn’t understand.
My whole life, hangs by a strand.

Untrusted again, Im always left out.
These people don’t care, without a doubt.
Im always the last one, last one to know.
Tiny thigns like this, are such a massive blow.

They force me to say, anythign thats bothering me.
They wont let me in, this is the key.
They key to friendship, to happiness in life,
Why bother trying, I’d rather have the knife.

For those who can’t seem to be let in.
The only way out, is the “final sin”
With no care, or support behind you,
Who would care, no one ever knew.

Knew of your existence,
Why you bothered trying, it never made sense.
Trying to act, to be somethign your not.
It’s not a total failure, you gave it a shot.

Think back, to when you were in a crowd,
No one ever listened, even if you were loud.
No one cares, no one seems to bother.
All these people, are like my mother and father.

They never had time for me, they were never there.
Why do I bother, when no one ever cared?

Untitled:

The one in the corner,
Alone in the dark.
With his hood up,
his wrist in marks.

He feels alone,
In his pointless life.
His only friend,
A sharp bladed knife.

He sits alone,
In the dark of the night.
He try’s and he try’s,
But he can’t do anything right.

Everyone is mad at him,
No one even cares,
No one would even notice,
If he wasn’t there.
His friends and family,
Are to much to bare.

Hate and conflict,
from family and friends.
The people that should care,
Desert him in the end.

The ones you thought,
Were the closest to you.
They didn’t care,
He secretly knew.

His life is so empty,
He’s so utterly alone.
Nothing to live for,
Humanities hatred has shown.

His girlfriend,
Who should care and support him.
Shes always mad,
He can never win.

All he wants,
Is to keep her happy.
He can’t succeed,
He feels so crappy.

Like a total failure,
A loser, A loner.
All he wanted was his love returned,
That hes always shown her.

Everyone makes,
Mistakes once in a while.
We’re only human.
He lives in denial.

He doubts,
Everything good in the world.
He has good reason,
Humanities hatred has unfurled.

Anything good,
That comes his way.
Ends up hurting him,
The good never stays.

He has nothing left to do,
He’ll hide away in his room.
His feelings so blue.

His whole life,
Has been one big folly.
His heart’s so black with hatem
He’s so melancholy.

He has nothing to live for,
No point to his existence.
He can’t live anymore,
His best quality; persistance.

His final night,
On this planet of ours.
These selfish people.
Pushed him to make these scars.
This time he can’t help it,
He’ll go to far,
His ambition now,
To live among the stars.

His soul has gone,
Left the Earth.
Hoping that it wont,
Experience rebirth.
He’s gone from our world,
And it’s all your fault.
All you had to do was notice him,
And stop your visious assaults.

You couldn’t do that,
No, you were to absorbed with yourself.
He couldn’t take it.
He couldn’t live with himself.

How can you sleep at ngiht,
Why would you cause all these fights.
All he wanted was to be your friend,
In your mind you were to good in the end.

If this was you….:

The harder I try,
The more I fail.
I’ve changed, I’ve sacrificed.
A very sad tale.
All I wanted was to have friends,
But all my efforts,
Were pointless to the end.
No one seems to like me,
No one seems to care,
This pain i feel,
It’s like ripping out my hair,
One by one.
Each strand by hand.
I feel like I carry, the weight of the land.
The pressure on my chest,
The pain deep inside.
From this, I have nowhere to hide.
I must dwell in the darkness,
Until it subsides.
Because until it passes,
It ravages my mind.
My heart weighs heavy,
My blood is running cold.
I don’t deserve life,
My soul has grown old.
Im tired of this b/s,
Tired of what the future holds.
To be hated by your peers,
No matter what you do.
How would you feel,
If this was you?

Escape:

My life is crazy,
I dont know what to do.
Everynight i go to sleep,
Wishing I was you.
I want this to escape my life,
To free me from my eternal strife,
To escape this unworldly pain,
That will, eventaully maim,
My soul.
That big black hole,
And scar my feelings forever.

Alone:

I take this knife,
I stab it in,
Letting myself,
Bleed from within.
The blood purges out,
My conciousness dims,
The light slowly fades,
Could this be the end?
Hopefully so,
For in this life,
Pain’s all I know.
Shakespeare once said,
“Life is like a play”,
And now he is dead.
I’ve played my part.
Now it’s time,
To pierce my heart,
And end my role,
AS a lonely soul,
Wandering this earth,
Alone…

My Ultimate Sin:

My life is a downward spiral,
Leading to death,
No one would care,
If I breathed my last breath.
My family would rejoice,
And be marry at my blunder.
While I lay,
6-feet under.
Rotting, Resting, Reviewing my life.
Making me happier,
That I took the knife,
And did the most unspeakable deed.
Finally fulfilling,
My greatest need.
To leave this world behind.
And travel to a distant plane.
Or maybe live below,
Forever in pain.
If that happened,
I wouldnt care.
It would be the same torture,
I already had to bare,
Living on the earth.
This is the only thing fair.
No one is left out,
Everyone wins,
From me acheiving,
My Ultimate Sin.

End It All:

Im so depressed,
I dont know why.
Sometimes I think,
I could break down and cry.
My dad is always angry,
And my brother gets me pissed.
Sometimes I wonder,
If I was to kill myself,
Would I be missed?
Sometimes I think I should,
Who would miss me,
No one would.
My best friends love me,
But thats just it.
I can’t take anymore of this $hit.
I can’t seem to do anything right,
What did I do to deserve these fights.
Someday Im going to end it all,
So someone else can take the fall,
For all those thigns I didn’t do,
But I’d probly get blamed for to.