reflecting.::+::.remembering

i wont forget anything about her. i wont forget how i loved her. i was so scared. it scared me to need her so badly.

i wont forget how we were. i wont forget how we were always together. the whole time i had him. i loved him the whole time, too. i still do love him. but she was special, there was something about her. he is everything to me now. shes gone. but i remember how she used to tell me she loved me. i remember every single time. i remember the day my father tried to break my back. she met me as i walked to her house, after. i remember how i was crying. i feel so ugly when i cry. it makes me feel powerless, like i cant control my own being. i remember how she kissed the tears from my cheeks like she was an angel. she told me it would be alright, because she loved me even if my father didnt. i almost believed her. i wanted to so badly. but now im glad i didnt. because everything fell apart. and i still have him. hes my life, hes my everything. but theres this hurt inside, where i feel empty. shes not there anymore. shes something i cant replace. but i remember everything about her… i remember how i was so damned scared…