Release

In the middle of the night,
At 3:00am.
I finally decide.
Its time to go.
I lay out my clothes on the bed.
Then go to the kitchen and pull out the mixing bowl.
Fill it with ice I’ve been making for days.
Carry it into the bathroom,
Put it down on the sink.
Walk to the tub.
Pull back the curtin.
The stopper goes in the hole,
All nice and sanug.
Turn on the water,
As hot as it will go.
I get the ice bowl,
Put it on the toliet seat.
I sit on the floor,
Between the tub and toliet.
Plunge my right arm into the ice,
And watch the tub fill.
Twenty minutes go by,
And the tub finally fills.
I turn off the water,
Then reach to the shelf.
The razor blade grins,
As I hold it in my hand.
I pull my arm out of the ice,
Then over the tub.
Razor at the wrist.
I push it in deep into my wrist,
And don’t feel a thing.
The blood starts to flow.
Razor half inbedded into my arm.
I draw it down my forearm,
All the way to my elbow.
I see the blood spurt,
As I lay my arm into the tub.
It won’t be long now,
As I watch the water turn red.
I lean my head back against the wall,
As I feel my heart slow
I start to float.
With just seconds left,
I give a big smile,
Because now I have,
My sweet release.