Roses Shatter When You Say Goodbye

She Looked At Me, She Smiled And Kissed Me Softly On My Lips. She Got Up And She Walked Away. I Sit There For A Few Minutes, Not Knowing What Just Happened. Then The Tears Hit My Eyes, And I Slowly Start To Realize. She Broke Up With Me…The Words Resound In My Head…She Broke Up With Me. I Look In The Direction Where She Walked Away, And Try To Say: ”Come Back, Please”. My Lips Form The Words, But Without Sound. I Wipe Away A Tear That Rolled Down My Cheek, Hoping No One Noticed That I Was Crying.

I Sit On The Bench For Hours And Hours, Thinking Of Her, And Asking Myself Questions Like What Did I Do Wrong? Why Did It Have To End This Way And Now? Why Doesn’t She Love Me Anymore? Why Does It Hurt So Much? Why, Why, Why, It Are Always The Questions That Start With Why, Which Are Always Left Unanswered. I Sigh And Slowly Get Up, Not Knowing My Eyes Are Red From All The Tears I’ve Shed.
I Drop The Red Rose, That I Bought For Her And Still Holding In My Hand, On The Ground, And Step On It As I Walk Away.
I Enter The House And Slowly Walk Upstairs To My Room, Ignoring My Parents Who Are Moaning About My Homework And All The Things I Still Have To Do. I Enter My Room And Slam The Door Behind Me. I Turn The Tv On And Sit Down On My Bed. I Stare At The Tv, And Not Even Noticing Im Watching A Japanese Movie. Things Going Through My Head, How Can She Just Leave Me Like That? I Love Her! Well…She’ll Be Back, I Know She Will, She Always Comes Back, And I’ll Be There When She Does. I Repeat Those Words Out Loud, But They’re Not Giving Me Any Comfort. Because I Know She Won’t Come Back. This Is Really It. The End….I Never Knew I Would Ever Say That.
I Look At The Phone On My Desk, Thinking About Calling Her, Tell Her That I Love Her, And That I Want Her Back, And It Cant Be Over….It Cant Be Over Just Like That….
I Lay Down On My Bed And Slowly Fall Asleep
Days Go By, When I Was Asleep I Wanted To Be Awake Cause Of The Nightmares I Had, But When I Was Awake I Wanted To Sleep Cause I Didn’t Want To Face Reality…

Then Some Morning I Wake Up At 6 Am. I Rub My Eyes And I Walk To The Bathroom. And I Get In The Shower. The Hot Water Flows Down My Body, And It Stings, I Look At My Arm, And See The Deep Cuts, I Don’t Even Remember Doing That, I Think It Was Only A Few Hours Ago When I Did That. But Time Doesn’t Have A Meaning To Me Anymore. For Me Seconds Are Like Minutes, And Minutes Are Like Hours, And Hours Are Like Days And So On. Every Second, Minute, Hour And Day More, Is One Too Many. I Can’t Control Time. I Go Back And Forth In Time Without Knowing What’s Real And What’s Not. Im Cutting Myself To Kill The Pain Inside. But It Only Helps For A Few Seconds.
I Get Out The Shower And Grab A Towel, I Wrap It Around My Waist And Walk Back To My Room.
I Open My Closet And Grab Some Clean Clothes Out Of It.
I Throw The Clothes On My Bed, Wondering If I Should Get Dressed Or Not, Maybe I Should Stay In My Bed For A Few More Days. I Stare At The Clothes On My Bed And Decide To Get Dressed. I Drop The Towel On The Floor, And Put My Clothes On. I Slowly Walk Downstairs And Sit Down At The Table. My Parents Stare At Me For A Few Minutes. I Get Up To Grab Something To Eat. I Walk To The Living Room. I Suddenly Stop And Drop The Food On The Ground. I Just Stand There For A Few Seconds. Then I Snap Out Of It And Look At ”Her”….She…She Came Back…I Say To Myself.
I Dont Know Whether To Be Excited Or Sad. She Gets Up And Walks Over To Me, She Looks At Me With Her Beautiful Eyes, Which I Haven’t Seen For Almost A Week. I Just Stand There Like A Frozen Statue, Not Moving An Inch. Then She Wraps Her Arms Around My Neck And Holds Me For A While. I Can Hear Her Crying On My Shoulder. She Whispers Softly In My Ear:”I Missed You”. I Wrap My Arms Around Her, And Hold Her Tight.”I Missed You Too”. Then She Manages To Get Out Of My Tight Grip And Wipes Her Tears Away. She Walks To The Door And Opens It. A Strange Guy Walks Inside. He Puts His Arm Around Her And Introduces Himself To Me. I Look At Her, Then Back At The Guy. And I Realize…She Found Someone Else…The Tears Fill My Eyes, And I Ask Politely For Them To Leave. I Slam The Door Behind Them, And Run Upstairs To My Room. I Grab The Sharp Knife From Under My Bed. I Slowly Drag It Across My Skin, And Pray For The Strength To Press Down. A Tear Rolls Down My Cheek, And Falls On The Knife. I Stare At The Shiny Knife, And Slowly Press It Down. Blood Dripping From My Arm And From The Knife. Searing Pain Shooting Up My Spine. A Dizzy Head, But I’m Feeling Fine. There’s A Lot Of Red On The Floor, Like A Carpet. It’s Getting Dark And Quiet Now. Is This It? Am I Freed From My Living Hell?

She Stands In Front Of My Grave And Throws A Red Rose On It. The Red Rose Shatters, She Cries Softly. She Whispers A Soft Goodbye, And Walks Away.