Salty

Salty tears run down my cheek. Grey clouds hover in my head. How can the sun still shine, when I feel the way I do. I’m at the bottom of the hole dissapointment and hate beats down on me, as if I was out in the rain. The veins in my head are pounding, I am overcome with lonlyness.I need someone to hold my hand and tell me I’m alright. Instead I sit here and cry. I write my pathetic little poem, and whine how my life is so unfair. I guess some where along the way I screwed up and I deserve every moment of this pain. I apoligize for the hurt I have brought to this world, I am sorry for whoever I’ve become. I could apoligize until my mouth goes dry, and I choke on my swelled up tongue. But forgiveness is not an option with you. You must see me as hell on earth, but I cannot see. All I feel is a little girl crying for her life back. If only tears could build friendships. If only my screams could change your mind. Maybe my blood can form me a future. I certainly can’t, I have no control. I need that control. The control of how deep I cut through my own flesh. The control I strive for, control of my life, control of me. Some where along the way I gave up, and you, you gave up on me. I guess I expected to lose, I should have known my happiness was going to end. I guess I just never gave up hope, never imagined losing my friend.