I stared into his eyes for hours. I would imagine them Changing from the dreary gray they were, into the deep green that were her eyes. He stared and questioned me, “Why is it that you stare into my eyes the way you do?”
I stared into his eyes for hours. I would imagine them Changing from the dreary gray they were, into the deep green that were her eyes. He stared and questioned me, “Why is it that you stare into my eyes the way you do?”
I had no reply. I could never tell him of my first love, he might know her, he might hate me, he never learned that I wasn’t straight. “Do you dream of my eyes or do you dream of others?” he questioned again.
“If I give you the answer you seek you might ponder as to why I admitted it to you.” Though many other people knew my secret, I was unsure how my love would react.
“If you love me you wont keep the truth from me.” He shoved the line in my face exactly the same as she would have done.
“I love you… But if i tell you I might hurt you.”
“Tell me.” It two words, nothing more, but the look he gave, with his emotionless face said it all.
I began my story back when I was still unsure of what and who I was. I met her, not so much met her, saw her as she glanced at me. The attraction was obvious, although neither of us knew the other ones sexuality, nor our own. The first thing i noticed about her was her eyes. The beautiful green orbs that would consume anything that came near it. They sparkled in the moons rays as we smiled to each other. Her eyes looked at me as though to say “come here and love me” in ways only hers could and can ever do. The dingy green/brown of my eyes paled in comparison. Her curly shoulder length hair with its silky strands falling around her shoulders and neck seductively. I knew I loved her. The perfect beauty of her flawless white skin could put the moon to shame for shining so dull upon it. The vinyl she wore showing her body, her curves and all that went with it. We glanced and smiled the first day I saw her and I wish we could have said more. She smiled the final time, and before i smiled back the beautiful face was gone.
He turned away from my gaze, “You were in love with another girl?” he choked saying it.
“Yes, I was in love with her, and unforgivably still do.”
“Is this the end?” averting my gaze. “of us…of our love, our emotion…of the one thing that keeps our lives from falling apart?”
“She is of the past, she is lost to me…I can never see her again, never experience her gentle touch or gaze into her eyes.”
I watched him waiting for him to answer, unaware of what the answer might be. He searched my eyes for the truth of what I said. He kissed me tenderly. I feel back into my dream world where she was still my love. I love him now but will it last? I loved her, and will love her forever. After we had made love for the very first time, I knew my heart would belong to her. When the crimson drops of our mingling blood hit the floor I was forever stuck in her grasp.
I remember what she told me, “No one must know of our love for each other, I am fear they might know…I cannot afford the scandal.”
I wanted to kill her, hurt her the way she hurt me. But I loved her too much, I could never hurt her.
I roll over on the black satin sheets and stare into his eyes watching them transform to hers again.