(To be placed in darkness)
Shit muthafucker, my face is loose on my skull. I shake my head but the flesh is out of sequence. Hi everyone do you like scary movies? I just watched one, that poor girl was going to get raped, but then they killed her. I think I can’t feel my brain cuz I forgot to take my happy-drugs (which don’t work exceptionally well) It’s cuz I’m at my dads for two days, that’s
why I’m posting again, and when I eat dinner at a different house, I forget to have my anti depressants. It makes my face go all numb, then I get headaches, which pour into my grains, and then I puke. I am so just looking for sympathy, sorry, the reason of this post, besides that I’m bored as all shit and looking for attention, is that I have a question.
When bad things happen in the world, do you think it’s because of bad people, or Satan?
I know it’s kind of in the air, but make of it what you want and reply. By the time this gets through the admin process (1-2 weeks these days) I would be long gone back to my mum and fagget step fathers house, so I probably wont be able to reply to your replies, but still send them. Everyone hates me, bar my close friends, but everyone else closes me out almost instantly when they see my eyes. Through the hazel…they see evil…they see dismay and suffering, but choose to replace these images with happy puppies, flowers, teletubbies, porno films, alcomahol, blow jobs, pop music clips, pretty picket fences and fucking smokescreens of pot. They yell at me, they push me, they hit me, they spit dirty looks down my throat, and fuck up my day with hate, anger, adrenalin, fear and hostility. Then my angel gets angry with me for not bashing someone who looks nothing like the person she claims him to be. I believe her, but I don’t want to fight, my eyebrow hurts enough as it is, plus in ritonga, everyone, knows everyone, so If I did hit Jacob, or Jim for that matter, I’d be stabbed straight away, then everyone that knew the cunt would jump in and kick my cranium into my chest. I don’t won’t to be a puddle of meat and blood on the floor of the shopping-mall, not today, I’m sick of hate for five minutes, I’m at the point I want to peel my finger nails off and bite the soft bleeding flesh underneath, just so I can’t feel the pain of life for these five minutes of fantasy which seldom come. Well enough of my, hey there’s a cockroach on the floor, it’s crawling on the carpet, eating all the food scraps, sorry I was saying that I’m going to shut my mouth soon. And I just saw a ghost out of the corner of my eye, they walk from the door to the side of me, that’s when I turned my head which revealed an empty room. It’s funny how the corner of ones eye, sees so much more of reality, than the full frontal vision, I think it’s because what ever happens in the corner, doesn’t know that you can see. Anyway, see you all later-
Peace – and keep looking for people to care about your fucked up lives
(Assuming you’re like me, probably a terrible assumption)
Bye