Sick and Sober

I can’t feel my arms or legs at the moment. My head feels like it’s full of helium….and there’s green mucous coming out of my nose. It’s cool though, especially if you have a car full of gay guys to keep you company at the beach after a long night of being faded. And when you squeez the skin, ever so gently, puss oozes out with it’s milky blood and hues of green.

My lovely cat has a skin fungus…kinda looks like mange. I’ll rub her on me so she won’t have to go through it alone. Bathing in bleach stings certain parts of the body…mostly the eyes. I think I’m going to miss Mr. Rogers. He and Sesame Street raised me till I was 5. Cow pies do NOT make good party favors. When you get those annoying blisters on your heel(s), it’s always more fun to stick a needle in it and roll your finger over it till all the liquid squirts out…then rip away some of the skin so it heals evenly instead of wrinkley. Don’t bite bears….they bite back! Why do those wierd Australian guys keep sending me their nudy pics???

Boredom…..I need some vodka

P.S. Sobriety is not my friend.

By MasochisticSweetness

Fuck off and die.