Silent murmurs…

Do you hear voices in your head? Or strange noises tickling down your ears? Silent murmurs so soft and tender then suddenly more and more agonizing screams…or may be an innocent child’s laughter turning into an evil echoing one…sometimes even choked cries, cries and tears that never seem to want to end…or even the sweet chiming of a dream catcher in a sudden gust of wind that can only bring you nightmares of war and deafening canons…Do you hear?

Now tell me, do you see fast pictures running before your closed eyes, so fast they all seem like one blurred vision? May be the glimpse of a happy childhood memory…or the scene of passionate wild even dirty sex…pictures of haunting ghosts, ghosts of the past that yet seem so present…or perhaps peaceful, colorful images of gardens with blooming flowers and flying butterflies…sometimes even funny cartoons or the routine life of thousands of people taking place in one single second…or other times, scenes of torment and torture with cold red blood all over ripped open wounds and dead bodies…Do you see?

Now let’s see, do you sometimes feel there are so many things in your empty fucked up head, so many thoughts circling round it? So many that you just want to pound your head so hard on the wall or smash it with cold metal to the floor just so you would get it all out and experience what everyone else around you calls, mmm wait a minute, what was that again? Oh yes, QUIET and PEACE. Tell me do you feel?

I’ll tell you. I hear. I see. I feel.

Oh now you think I’m mad. *laughs* [you figure what kind of laughter]. What do you know about madness anyways? You know one once said: “madness is wisdom”. Go figure that out if you believe you’re so good and healthy. Don’t you think that thinking people, like the one you are [yes you!], are actually the “sick-headed” ones? How you keep planning silently and oh so “wisely” for wicked things…plans to scare the shit out of people or to hurt the blood out of their veins! Whoops, sorry! You just meant to have innocent fun and joke around for a while. Ain’t that sweet! But then again to hell with your bloody sweetness!

Personally, I envy the so-called mad people, the mentally ill as referred to by doctors. Yes, those disordered in mind people. I feel they’re safer than all the people around me. The way they’re stuck in their own world and never afraid to show it. They just suddenly become so full of creativity and uniqueness. Now tell me, aren’t they safer than those hypocrites around you? You see, we all hold a madness within but we all also wear masks on the outside to hide it. No one ever dares to tear that mask and unleash his mad self. No one. Just going around claiming they’re the good ones, the wise ones. What is wisdom anyway? Wait let me check that in a dictionary…Ummm, let’s see, W-Weir-Where-Wide-Wis oh here it is Wisdom. To show good sense, good judgment. *chuckles* Now who ever decides of which judgment is good and which one is bad. Is it the wise people too? Then who defines THEM as wise? Just another closed loop.

Come one people, don’t you think there should exist a certain balance between everything in every mind and heart? A balance between hate and love, dark and light, MADNESS and WISDOM? So just try, during a silent dark night to invite the mad side in. And then admit it the next morning. I admit it. I am mad! Can you hear that word as it echoes in your head? Why don’t you go ahead and scream it? Unleash it. Set it free. Scream. Scream from the top of your lungs. I am mad and damn proud of it. I am mad and damn wise about it.

And one more last thing. When you cross a stranger on your way and think he’s mad, don’t look away from him. Look up to him.