I’m tellin’ ya, Funko has mindreading tech, and they’re aiming it at my head. How else can you explain the new “Savage World” line of action figures featuring Horror icons Michael Myers, Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, and Pinhead rendered in the style of classic “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe” action figures of the 80s? If ever a toy line were designed specifically with me in mind, it is this one. Now, thanks to the fine, fabulous folks at Nightmare Toys, I can gleefully announce that my collection is complete. I have them all!

As a kid in the 80s, I loved He-Man and I loved Horror. There were no action figures of the famous slashers to be had, though, so I had to content myself with He-Man toys. I also loved Mr. T, and when Mr. T got into professional wrestling, I started watching that, too. Instantly the bug bit me and I became a full-fledged “Hulkamaniac” who spent the next half-dozen years eating, breathing, and sleeping wrestling. And Horror, still.

You couldn’t buy the toy wrestling rings at that time, so my mother had one custom-built for me for Christmas, and bought me a bunch of wrestling figures. These latter were the first to be produced for the new “Rock-n-Wrestling” fad, though, fashioned of hard rubber and incapable of movement of the limbs. I found that Masters of the Universe figures made MUCH better wrestlers, and soon He-Man and Skeletor had taken their rivalry from the planet of Eternia to the wrestling ring.

I still dug on Horror, though, my love for the genre undiminished. That’s how Jason Voorhees became a professional wrestler. I took a “Gorgeous” Jimmy Garvin figure—conveniently the exact same size and style as the MOTU figures—created a crude makeshift hockey mask for him, and voila! he became Jason the wrestler. Jason never lost a match. Whenever another wrestler would have him almost beaten, he would simply resurrect the way he always does in the movies. I cannot adequately put into words how many hours of fun I had playing with those toys. Now I have a REAL Jason action figure rendered in the MOTU style, who looks not all that unlike the makeshift figure I cobbled together in the 80s. That’s why Jason is my favorite of these new figures, even though Michael is my favorite of the slashers, and even though I think the Pinhead figure is visually the most impressive.

By the way, the names of Freddy and Michael are misspelled on the packages. “Kreuger” and “Meyers,” respectively. (The names are actually “Krueger” and “Myers.”) Will this make them collector’s items? I hope so. I had to buy TWO each of them, though, since there was no way I WASN’T going to open these figures and play with them.

No wrestling matches have broken out as of yet. Although I do hear rumors that Jason is out to get the impostor who posed as him throughout the 80s. Grudge match!