The night was so dark.. and the moon gone, seems like heaven turned its back on the world as hell consumed the night with its coal vomit. I hear them… the voices… so real.
Mocking me, laughing and keep telling how much shit I’ve wasted as if I have no meaning on this world. I was screaming inside oh god, I just wish I would fall asleep but no this Inner demons keep beating my head with messages I know is not right.. at least if there’s still conscience left on my putrid soul…
I toss and turn as I felt like there is this liquid fire on my brain so I stood up. At the middle of the night, I went to the bathroom and washed my face not before I caught a glance of my self at the mirror. Oh God it was so fucked up, I saw that I have dark sockets instead where my eyes should be. I choked at the sight fighting at the thoughts that it was me or maybe just another person. Then as I lost my breath, my body fell on the bathroom floor, smashing my head It then seems like everything is spiralling away from me. A warm feeling on my temple woke me up, though I’m afraid to open my eyes, I found out I was lying on a pool of blood but pain was not there. A chill came to my spine as the thought of what’s human has left me. Life could really wear a man down to the ashes and nothing to comfort him. Not even the sick feeling of love.
I hate being inlove. I’ve never been in a real relationship for all I got are the one that just plain relationship, date, sex and break-up. Heck I don’t know much about love. Maybe it’s the reason why I slap my ex on a party coz of dirty dancing on another male? Or the reason why I hate threesomes and orgy? I dunno, I’m a stranger on these things. I just wish that I’ll be devoid of this feeling as ugly memories of my women came rushing on my mind.
I opened the windows to breathe the cool night breeze. Magnificent, I said to myself as I marvel how beautiful man could make this world to live in only to tear it down in seconds by hate and selfishness and how Religion could send division and war to society. Hah. Religion. My mind asked me if I still had religion. Well, what can I say but maybe none. My faith had gone dried up but there are times that I just pray on to myself maybe because my dual consciousness still believes in God.
I found out that I was not alone that night. There are this couple having sex on their garden, I wonder how much time do they still have when they will realize that they have to grow up and not get on each others pants every so often and cheat each other most of the tome. I also saw a child and his mother pointing on me. Me? I don’t find anything on myself interesting except… My hands found its way on my blood trailed face. Dammit I haven’t cleaned myself yet I feel this blood is slightly comforting.
After I washed my face, I made my way out of the bathroom and pass over my bed where Kathy, my latest bitch, lies sleeping with my shirt on. Staring for a moment, I felt nothing for her. I have no future with this bitch, why do I keep fucking this shit? Grabbing the pointed scissors, my hand has a mind of its own. It want to stab Kathy that I have to fight my way no to do it. It’s very tempting. I squeezed myself beside her while she wrap me with her arms. She kissed and whispered me to sleep and I submitted. But my eyes remain focused on the pointed scissors. Some other time I murmured… some other time…
WHoa! why is this posted on here? This is my Journal Entry!!!!
Oh well..
That was great. If it really was an entry in your diary though i’m quite worried. You have a beautiful writing style, your use of punctuation is great and gives the reader a firm grip on how the story should be read. I really liked this.
Vixodus
xx
Hmmmm ….
( you know it’s not my most useful comment but it’s what comes to me )
I don’t like you. I don’t like your attitude, your opinions or your outlook on life. And I’m afraid I let it prejudice me. I enter your writing expecting to be displeased and even annoyed, so when I am it’s hardly surprising.
This seems harmless enough though. Nothing in it’s form upsets me, and nothing in its subject matter offends me. It’s … take it or leave it writing.
Really, I only really come here for emotions to be evoked, be they good or bad – and this evokes nothing.