These are some of my poems that I’ve written in the past. I’ve never submitted any of these before so please comment and critisize where you feel the
need.
*Note, some of these poems contain vulgar language and raw emotion so if you can’t stomach those things, don’t read them, plain and simple.
Changes
When I look
Into the mirror
I wonder,
Is that me?
Or my reflection?
Which is which?
Are they different
Or the same
I speak
And my voice comes out
In an alien tongue
Speaking of trivial matters
When my soul
Is pounding frantically
At the walls in my head
I suddenly remember
That there is a door
That I have yet to go through
I laugh outloud
As I glance at my life
Observing the scenery
As I pass by the realities
That I have lived in
My only way to freedom
Is to fly
Fly away
Sweet soul
Into another plane
Where nothing’s the same
The dreams of children
Are alive in adults
And everyone believes
What a wonderful
Sensation it is,
To make love
To the Moon,
While being absorbed
As a child of the Sun
To run with the Wolves
Then change
And fly with the Eagles
And sparrows
No longer enemies
But if I’m not careful
My silver cord will snap
And the door will slam shut
Behind me
Leaving me to the empty shells of corpses
Never to breath in
The sweet smell
Of freshly cut grass
And you will find me
Sprawled on the ground
With a smile lightly brushing my lips
And I will have left
To the sunlit rooms
Of the Astral Planes
But do not fear for me
Just because my remnants
Have been scattered to the winds
Does not mean I don’t linger
In your memory
Forever
And all I have done
Is Change
Wolf Spirit
Can you understand me?
Or will you stand there
Back turned
Afraid to try
Fearing to move
Because it could cost your life
Golden eyes
Stare from the shadows
My own gleam right back,
As if daring them to look away
The longer I stare into
Those eyes
The more trivial
I think this life is
Gold gleams understandingly
Then steps back
To make room for me
I fall forward on all fours,
Sniff around,
Then take off into the moonrise
He waits for my return
So he can once again claim,
What he shares,
Now,
With me
I am grateful
I lift my lips
And kiss the moon
Majick
I long for the time
When we are together
I arch my back in longing
Imagining what is to come
The passion we share
Has so far only been
In spirit.
I felt exhilarated
Truly alive
I breathe in the scent of majick
It smells of lilacs
And rosemary
And thyme
I open my eyes
And see you standing before me
I beckon to you
And you come
Lowering yourself slowly unto my delicious flesh
I moan in simple pleasure
As you enter my body
And we become one fragile
Yet united
Entity
The sweet cinnamon
In my veins
Begins to race
As I surrender myself
Totally
To your ecstasy
To your majick
I feel you pulse
And explode
Sending shivers
Down my back bone
Blinded by colors
I pull you closer
You thrust deeper
And deeper
Though never deep enough
To wholly satisfy,
Only temporarily
I gently lick the sweat from your brow
Our minds are one
My hands caress your body
Which quivers from the experience
I blink
Where have you gone
I look at myself
Nothing is different
No messed sheets
I’m fully dressed
You’re not here
Then it dawns on me
It never happened yet
It was only my mind
But no;
I say to myself,
It was majick
Pain
A constant pain is living in me
Pounding
Raging
Against my nature
My face is foreign and beautiful
In it inhibits the dark
I am not afraid
I revel in this energy
So bountiful
And bright
But with this beauty comes pain
An ache of what I truly am
What I could be
What I should be
And what I am
I feel like I’m being buried
Buried alive for something I have
For what I think
I scream in the shallow waters
Quietly flowing around me
My tears falling
To meet their brother and sister spirits
I don’t know what to do
Because I know too much already
But everyone thinks I know nothing
When it is the other way around
It’s not fair
They put me up on their pedestal and say
‘Don’t be like her
Be like me
Be like us
You can BELONG’
I’m not one or the other
They are afraid of me
Because I’m not afraid of anything
They don’t understand
They bring on
The pain
Ecastic
I look at the world and I laugh
Not because it’s funny
But because I can
And it feels good
To laugh at something
Anything
Just because
The kind of laughter
That fills the air of hopeless situations
Not that this is one
But it could be
Very soon
Trapped in the corner
And nothing left to do but laugh
My mind tingles with this knowledge
Knowing I’ll never share it with anyone
It’s mine to keep forever,
My burden
Oh well,
Make the best of what you have
That’s the only way to go
I wonder why….
Anything
Everything
It’s strange everything’s the same
But different
And it repeats all the time
We go around in circles
Without knowing
Am I the only one out here?
It seems that way
No one seems to notice
As I walk past their naïve little clans
They mutter in soft voices
About my difference
They don’t see why I’m different
But oh well,
Life’s a bitch
And then you die
That’s what they say
But right now
I think I’ll stay ecastic
Fucked
I look at the world
With my twisted logic and laugh
They all are so helpless
While they supposedly have their ‘great resources’
That’s just more shit
That they try and feed you
Sure they have all that big technology
And the long terms for illnesses that don’t exist
Anywhere but their textbooks
And then there’s the people that actually know something
They actually realize that the world’s fucked up royally
And that it’s too deep in the pile to come up again
Believe what you want
That’s what I say
And look where it got me
I’m not naïve anymore
I used to let the veil come over my eyes
And protect me,
Shelter me from the truth
And make me live a life where if I be good,
I just might succeed
But now I shove that veil aside
And look at any situation
And say fuck it,
Let the innocents try and learn something finally
And I walk away
My words leaving a burning mark on their souls
They don’t know how to live,
And those that do,
Can’t.
I rise up,
And conquer the night
Lover
The time we spend together
Seems to lack
Because I know
That my happiness
Will soon end
And I will be brought back to my dismal life
Filled with meaningless colors
That I can’t feel or touch
They’re only there to look good
And act like they’re something special to the world
But when I’m with you,
My world’s all black and dark
And the richness of it is beautiful
I live for the night
Relishing in it’s secretes
Breathing in it’s scents
Staring at the moon for hours on end
Is like staring into your face
So close
Yet so far away
What I’d give to be able to caress it
To take you into my arms and hold you tight
Feel the delicious blood flow through your veins
Pounding in your flesh
Just waiting for me to and feed
On your sweat and sweetness
Like chocolate only no bitterness
The sun but not too bright
My little star
My lover
Energy
I feel like bursting
From a light inside
So different
From how I was feeling yesterday
And how I’ll feel tomorrow
I’m bouncing up and down
Like a little child
With the intelligence
Of a Wise One
I could run anywhere,
And still want more
Swaying to the music
Of nature’s calling
I draw my power from a well
Deep inside the Earth
I can almost fly
If it weren’t for this body,
I’d be able to
Oh, how good it feels
To be able to see again
To see with night vision all the time
To be able to see the dark shadowy truth
And the dark richness of crimson flowing through the Mother’s veins
It’s good to live and survive
Blood
I watch as the dark crimson swells from the vein,
And slowly drips
Unto the carpet
My head begins to spin
As if in my last minutes I’m suddenly drunk
But not on alcohol
Never again
Will I be able to bring another glass to my lips
And taste it’s sweetness
Never again will I see the sunrise
But that’s okay
I’ll live,
I feel silly saying that
It feel almost like I’m forbidden to say those words now
Alive, life,
But what am I to them?
Just another whore who took a beating that got carried away?
Nah,
They can piss themselves for all I care about what they think
They make you feel good,
Build you up
And then when you think you have finally escaped their torment,
They bring you crashing down again
I watch as the flow begins to slow
Less and less comes forth from the slash
My eyelids are getting tired, I want to sleep
And everlasting slumber filled with everything you could want
I’m about to give in, when suddenly I have an idea
I lift my hand and with the last of my dying strength,
I write my name in the blood
So that when they find me they’ll know the name to put on the grave
I smile and take my last breath
Finally letting the darkness win
But my eyes shut tight doesn’t block out the drips
That still fall
One after another
To join their brothers
In the puddle of red on the floor,
Where I lay
Empty
Empty, empty, empty
Is how I feel
No wait a second
I am now filled with sadness
As it cascades in the asylum of my mind
Like a fountain
Can’t stop
Won’t stop
Must stop
Eventually
Then the water changes to blood
I can taste the copper in my mouth
So realistic
Then I realize it’s my own
It’s own cascade from my wrist
How beautiful it is
I wish I could just drip
But the world has restrained me
In another one of their straight jackets
Just begging me to try and break free
Although I know I can’t
I can only fade into the shadows
I wish I could
I wish I were dead
No one would miss me
No one would notice
But me.
I’d notice
I’d miss myself
So I kept on living this hell
Kept on surviving
Some would say I was brave
Because I didn’t take the easy way out
I think they just don’t understand
They have yet to learn about me
If they dare.
The cascade stops
And now I’m truly empty
Mixtures
Emotions,
Mixing,
Swirling,
But are they alive?
I’ll never know.
Are they real?
They might just be a string,
Holding onto life
The paint mixes and turns black
Like my world
Not leaving any space for color
Only death and hate
Why must you prosecute me over and over again?
I can’t help what I am
I am ME
And only me
Nothing yet something
But not quite anything
And until you can accept it
I’ll exist just to be your prison
Sorrow
It saddens me to look outside
And see the sun play lightly
On the snowbank
I don’t deserve this beauty
Whatever I feel is drowned out by my sorrow
I’m slipping, slipping, slipping, off the edge
And no one seems to care
And when I do fall,
Who will catch me?
No one but gravel
No one but dust
Scattering the remnants of my ancestors
My only friends
A single drop of liquid leaks down onto the dry forlorn ground
I hear it splash as it hits
I know that it’s real
But I question if I am too
Sometimes I doubt that I exist
And I’m just a shadow of time in the future
Slowly, my soul changes to ashes
And I am free to join my sisters
But then I blink and everything is as it was before
I long for the end of my existence
I can hardly bear to think of the next day
But when I think of how sweet my last breath will be,
I cry
Not because I’m afraid of what will happen afterward,
Oh, no
But because of anticipation and longing
Sometimes I wish I were dead
Cold in my grave,
Smiling
Freak
Who am I?
What am I?
Am I just a freak that you point and stare at?
Or am I touchable,
A piece of trash that is there for your convenience
My eyes wander the crowd, looking for a friendly face
They find none.
What they find is hate and resentment for a creature of the night
That did nothing other then exist
My heart bleeds for a soul parallel to my own.
To match the darkness in my life with love.
My only desire,
Recognition.
Different
What am I now?
I know it’s changing, my reflection
But to what shape?
Of what colors?
If any?
It’s so confusing
To wake up to a new face each day
But now I’m me
With poison seeping through my veins
But I am immune
And so are those who I cherish
But beware those who come into my thrall
I’ll eat you for dinner if you’re not careful
I survey the world with the eyes of a predator
Who thinks of nothing but to survive
I will survive
I will not perish
To the Summerlands without a fight
Real (?)
My reflection’s a little pale
The moonlight reflected in my eyes
The black velvet emptiness caressing my skin
Stars gleaming through the crimson liquid I call my flesh
My pupils contract and dialate.
Black crescents surrounded by intelligence
My skin as milky as a pure sound
I raise my arms in celebration
Cradling the moon like a mother
I flick my tongue and blink out the sun
But is this real or not?