Something Inside

There is another force within me.
One that I cannot control.
It feeds upon my soul.

I wish I could explain it,
But I always seem to fail
To find the right words.

I have so many hopes and dreams,
That I wish would come true.
Most of them are for you.

I look around me in every which way
Hoping to find some guidance
As I go on my way.

I feel like a feeble child.
Who is always craving
For the knowledge that I have satisfied you.

Even though,
You tell me every day,
About how proud of me you are,
I still feel the constant need to do more
To receive more.

Sometimes I scare myself
When I do something
That really is not me,

Those times are when I hurt you
So deeply that you cry.
And when I see those tears of pain
I begin to cry too.

So I apologize,
For all of the evil things
That I have done,
And probably will,
Do to you.

And I just want you to know
That I am working on it.
So please, don’t give up hope.

For if you do,
I don’t think that I will ever get over
Missing you.