spun and unraveled

It’s been a hot two weeks with no sleep in a single studio apartment , just checking the fed, testing ph levels and shooting the raw meth to see if it’s any good. I can’t tell any more, I just have a massive headache, it’s like 150 degrees in here every body is silent, picking at their faces, arguing, taking shit apart, and I swear my skin is soaked with mustard gas coming from the tube hooked up to the kitty litter filter.

It’s been a hot two weeks with no sleep in a single studio apartment , just checking the fed, testing ph levels and shooting the raw meth to see if it’s any good. I can’t tell any more, I just have a massive headache, it’s like 150 degrees in here every body is silent, picking at their faces, arguing, taking shit apart, and I swear my skin is soaked with mustard gas coming from the tube hooked up to the kitty litter filter. I’ve been peeling the skin off cheap cold pills nonstop for 6 hours. My mouth tastes like aspirin. It’s me, a 40 year old meth head hooker and a dope cook named Ron, he’s got AID’s and fuck the gay landlord for rent, as well as other “odd jobs”. Jeanna (the hooker) is crying in a corner psychotically about no one really loving her, Ron is flipping out cause he isn’t sure if he accidentally gave a 14 year old girl that had stopped by one of his dirty infected needles. I’m just bugging out in a corner watching the whole surreal situation like a fucked up movie, and it’s just a little too real, cause I’m not sure if I used one of his rigs too… fuck, I already have HEP C, and don’t really care to consume any more diseases from these fuck’s, but that’s the way shit goes. after another hour? of this the phone starts ringing non stop, it breaks the stressfull silence and adds more annoyance, I wish Rob would answer the fucking phone, but he knows it’s the land lord. Now he’s knocking at the door, GREAT, now we have to hide a whole fucking lab, but not in time. The landlord already kicked the door open and the first thing he does is ask me who the hell I am, and where the fuck is Rob. He starts yelling at Rob telling him to get Jeanna out of the apartment- ” I don’t want that bitch here, are you fucking her? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!” he start slapping Rob around the place, all of a sudden rob flips out and starts relentlessly beating the side of the landlord’s head with his fists until blood is pouring out of his ears. That takes a lot to do, and isn’t a good sign. He’s jumping all over the place screaming and fighting, Jeanna is still in the corner crying even louder, I’m just trying to make sure I don’t get any fucking blood on me, Oh, and now the other tenants are looking in door to see what the fuck is going on. FUCK!. So I just grabbed all the dope I knew was finished as well as anytning valuable, CD players, jewelry, and some more fed. I told Jeanna to grab her shit so we could get the fuck out. She is just crying histerically, I just wish she would be quiet. So we’re headed down the hallway to the stairwell, and from behind I can hear the landlord yelling something to the effect of “Oh no bitch, this is all because of you!” The next thing I know the landlord has grabbed Jeanna by her glued on fucking wig and is dragging her by her head down a flight of stairs, when e got to the bottom, he cocked back his arm that was in grasp of her hair and whipped her hair smashing her face into the wall, leaving a hole the size of her face behind. I looked up at his hand. He had all of her hair in his hand and attached to it was part of her scalp. He was just standing there yelling ” THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK YOU GET FOR MESSING WITH MY MAN!” repeatedly kicking her while she was on the ground screaming insanely. So, I ran down the stairs and jumped on top of him and started punching him as hard as I fucking could, his teeth were flying, I could feel his nose bone crunching to a dull soft smack sound under my knuckles, and It looked like it was caving in. All of a sudden I was being flipped over and getting the crap beat out of me by some huge muscle bound 6′ something gay dude, I think it was one of the tenants. As soon as I got a chance, I kicked him in the mouth as hard as I could, grabbed my shit, told Jeanna to meet me down the block and wait for me. I went to the bottom floor and ran to the laundry room and jumped out of the window, I saw my reflection on the way out and from what I could tell, I wasn’t looking to good. I jumped the back fence and darted down the alley to meet Jeanna up, I lost some dope on the way. I stashed what I could under a dumpster. When I met up with Jeanna, she was screaming at the top of her lungs, bald head bleeding with chunks of hair here and there trying to put her wig/bloody scalp on her head under a DC baseball cap. I was trying to get her to calm down, cause I really did not want to deal with cops and people were just looking at us like what the fuck. You could here the echo for blocks away. I told her I grabbed a bunch of jewelry, and was calling my heroin dealer, cause fuck, I really needed some downer. This shit was just too much for me. She kept screaming and shit while I was waiting for my guy, I felt bad, but I didn’t want to go to jail, so I just ditched her, I had to justify it to myself when I did it so I wouldn’t feel so guilty. I sat there on the corner for what seemed like hours waiting for my dealer. I was comming dowm hard, shit was so loopy, people were just staring at me, I was paranoid as fuck, I swore they were watching me from there apartment windows, It was a living nightmare. Finally my guy showes up. I started yelling at him for taking so fucking long untill he informed me that I had only called him twenty minutes ago. He asked me for my money, I showed him my jewelry and he told me to get out of the car and call him when I had some cash, YEAH RIGHT! I’m not getting out of this bitch without some fucking heroin, I didnt care if I had to rob him. His partner got pissed and told me to give him the jewelry. I came out of the car with nothing more than $150 worth of dope, but had just given him a thousand dollar tenis bracelett. Oh well, i was getting high. I couldn’t wait to find a bathroom. So I jumped into a dumpster, I grabbed a used pop can, cooked my shit up in it and sunk that oh so wonderfull needle into my arm…… I got so fucking warm…. shit was getting blurry and I was out for the count. I woke up the next morning in the ER. A nurse told be that a bouncer from the club threw a bunch of empty beer bottles in the trash, but he didn’t hear any break, so he looked in and found me in there. Apparently I broke the bottle’s fall. My face was fucked up from the beating I took and one of the bottles broke my nose and chipped a couple of my teeth. I was fucking lucky to be alive, I could’nt believe it, but I was greatfull about it for once. But I was going through withdrawels, as soon as I leaned up, I puked all over myself along with all the tubes sticking in my arms. I dont know why, but I just started yanking them out, it wasn’t too good of an idea, cause as soon as I did, blood was shooting out of my arms like guisers. The parimedics held me down and gave me more Narcam and replaced the tubes. I demanded refusal of medical service papers, I had to get the fuck out of thier, I needed another fix. I was cold sweating like a mother fucker. Only problem was they had to cut all my clothes off of me to treat me right away. Fuck it. I just left in the hospital gown with my ass showing and a pair of knee high doc’s, all beat up with green hair spiked and puke all over me. I must have been a sight for sore eyes,HAHA…. My mission was to grab the speed I had stashed and trade it for more heroin as soon as subhumanly possible. This time around my dealers had no beef with my trade, they gave me $200 on top of it this time. Went and got a hotel room at the chelsea. Got high again and took a nice hot bath and cleaned myself up, catered my face, and had a friend bring me some clothes. This shit could go on forever- STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM DRUGS

By V1V1S3CT

born, schooled, and beaten by life.