I’ve been down a lot lately and I’ve just gotten over a small bout with depression, but every now and then I get this little voice in the back of my mind that whispers, “Kill Yourself”.. and I get to thinking maybe I don’t havea place here, and that I should just kill myself. Well I don’t listen to it, cause I have to many things to live for, but this is realy starting to bother me! I would like other peoples views on this as to weather or not I should actually get some help or I should just ignor it and let it pass like many other times…. I’m sorry if I sound like a naggy bitch, but I would really like to get over this and I see people as the key… I thank you for your time… and please feel free to comment.
^v^Carpe Tenebrarum^v^
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Obsession. There are two definitions – one is psychological, the other is Catholic; looking them up in a dictionary might prove an interesting diversion on a rainy day.
I too used to get that horrible nagging question from time to time “What is my place?” And if the answer stalled for too long then the question would naturally be followed by that laughable statement of ‘You have none…Kill yourself’. Funny that one…since if I were to have, I’d just be right back at the beginning trying this whole silly game over again, with possibly even less of a clue then I have now! ;P
These days I’ve come to realize that its not about me having a place. Instead I AM a place. And wherever I go, whatever I do, that place follows with me.
Being alive is like being cast as the lead in a movie. The role you’re playing is…you. It’s impossible to mess it up! No body is better at being you then you! So ease up on yourself a little…enjoy your time under the lights…you can worry about the sequal later.
once upon a time there was a little girl.she had a friend who had a older brother.she was 4 he was 13.he raped her,in the back of a truck while her friend and her friends parents were there,driving the car.i tryed to kill myself several times when i remembered that little girl was me.i dont know what happened to you or if anything did but we all need someone to listen,i know how hard it is to find someone to do just that.here’s my email lunaelixipher@yahoo.com.find someone to listen to you,i hate therapists but it might help you.tyr it.
i hope you feel better.
you said yourself dat you got things to live for..well,live for dat and dont mind the voice or voices in ur head..coz dats just in ur head..what you need it someone to talk to..to hear whatever it is dat you have in ur heart or n ur mind…if you think you need help..do get it..but i dont believe so much on psychology..i still believe in the power of self manipulation..telling yourself what you should do..putting yourself in the right place..we all do have a place on this earth..its doesnt have to be a place where everybody would feel like they belong..its in you ..thats theplace where ya belong..and unless you havent found yourself or know it by heart..you wouldnt find the place where you belong…
you take it easy..
ill be here….
dont let THESE pigs bring you down…
live for Digital Audio Tape? Digital Audio Tape is in your head?
dearie, it’s time to find a close friend or someone that you love and trust and talk to them. you don’t have to spill your guts or have something in mind to say, but just find someone you love and trust and let them into your heart…friends can help
Suicidal voices are nothing new for most people. Depression is inevitable if you are not ignorant – and I fancy myself to not be ignorant, therefore I am often feeling other people’s pains and sorrows just as harshly as I feel my own. It’s as if I see this fucked up world, and I want to kill myself before I even attempt to live in it.
That’s not the way to go. I refuse to believe that we were put here to kill ourselves. But, with the irony of whatever gods are real – I would not be surprised.
I would not go to a therapist. I’ve been forced to do that. It does no help, unless you begin to fix yourself first. You have to look your problems in the face and untangle its web, just like any other conflict in life.
That’s about all I can think of. Hope it has helped.
~Moon Vampire~
Poor baby, I know what it feels like to be depressed, and luckily I haven’t been depressed in a month, which is a record for me. Personally, I don’t think that therepy would help you at this point, just because you don’t really know what’s bothering you, or do you? Anyways, I had my reasons fro being depressed and when I figured them out and went for counselling to deal with the problem, which was that my grandfather had sexually assaulted me in the summer and now, I rarely get depressed. Or maybe you don’t have a REAL reason, it’s just a stage in your life that could change in awhile. Now I’m not trying to sound like an adult who says, “oh, well, she’ll get bored of acting this way and grow out of it, it’s just a stage.” I hate when people do that to me, so I’d never do that to anyone, but people change, all the time, it’s normal. So I suggest you just try to find a way to cope with it until it’s passed. I hope my comment helped, and didn’t make anything worse…
If you want to talk then my e-mail is Crimson_da_Vamp@darksites.com
Take heart all. Even us old shewolves feel the depression hitting from time to time. I too have felt and heard those little voices telling me to end it all. Everyone’s situation is different but the voices all sound the same. Look at all the positive things in your life, no matter how small and trivial they seem. Family was my saving grace and helped me to shut the voices up for good. Only if you feel that seeing a professional is right should you attempt it. They tend to look at all the wrong aspects. If they really only knew. The voices can be defeated. Be strong and believe in what you can do.
I’m not sure how to approach this. Umm…when I was 5, I told my mom that I wanted her to get a gun and shoot me in the head. She didn’t think it was a normal thing for a five year old to say, which may be why I’ve been to numerous psychologists, and psychiatrists to last me a lifetime. When I was 11, I put myself in the hospital for a suicide attempt. And landed in the hospital twice more in the 4 years that followed. I’m 16 now, and I know that most people my age are still trying to find their place in life, which may be why they act like stupid idiots. But I know I’m not a stupid idiot. Life can hurl so many obstacles at you, even if they aren’t directed at you. When I read the news, and hear stories of rape and murder and the commiters haven’t been punished, it makes me want to kill myself. Not because I am feeling sorry for myself, or depressed, but because I see that the world is such an awful, shitty place, and I know I can’t change it. I’m just a little girl. So why not end my own life, so I don’t have to know about the shit anymore. You have to tell yourself, “I am living for me, I don’t care about anybody else. I’m not going o get into this self-pity shit.” And if it isn’t self-pity causing your strife, than look on the bright side, there is always Prozac.
I understand. Over the past five years I have been sent to three diffrent asylums on seven diffrent account’s for suicide. My life has been hell and it’s hard not to listen to those voices becuase you think “hey there in my head, they must be my thought’s”. I tried talking to consulers and all they ever did was make me feel like I would never want to live. Then I got a friend who’s life was just bad as mine and talking to them made me relize life is going to be bad we just have to sit thru it. So if you need someone to talk to e-mail me at gothicluv_hp_ss@yahoo.com. Today may be bad but next week may be hell.
I used to have that little voice saying that too after I got over the worst parts of depression aswell. It has gone away now, and that just took the time healing way. I was on a few meds before that would stop most hylusonations, if it bothers you that much, maybe talk to someone and see if there’s one for you, if that’s the way you wanna go. I myself prefer time. ~vulgar menace
hey there,
well i get how you feel i get that way sometimes too
I think that if this little voice is getting tooo loud and annoying then maybe you should see if someone could help.
the only thing about that is all they do is stick pills done your throat! maybe you should do some korny stuff like meditating, yoga, or some sport. i know that it sounds stupid but maybe you could get more out of it that flexibility or adrenaline pumping but get the voice to change its mind. or you can do what i do which is put music to drown it out, and i dance and go into a weird ass trance, which helps me!!
well takecare,
crystalcage
Most suicidal thoughts are impulsive. It is satan that wnats you to do this. He is the only one that benefits from suicide. I personally think that suicide is selfish. there are people that like and love you. I’ll send a prayer for you.
i know exactly what you mean. i can be feeling perfectly normal and then all of the sudden ill feel like cutting or overdosing or something. this happens everyday, and it bugs me too. ive tried everything, therapy, medication, i dont know. but just try to focus on other things. maybe some meds will work for you. you might want to try. i hope i helped a little bit. good luck.
I so know how you feel. My voice doesn’t tell me to kill myself anymore, but it tells me to do stupid stuff, really impulsive, makes no sense, crap. Now, I really hope you’re not kidding with the voices thing because a lot of people do. “Oh, I have voices in my head, the voices made me do it…” It’s not funny ’cause there really ARE people who hear voices and it tortures them sometimes. As to how to deal with it, I’m not sure. I never act on what mine says, I just kinda ignore it. Sometimes at night while I’m in bed waiting for sleep I let it run around in my head, but it knows I’m not going to ever get up and actually do what it says. Then it usually has some influence on my dreams. Tell me how it works out with you. 🙂
I think you should get help. I myself am depressed and have thought about jumping out the window, but never have. I have not gotten help, Why? I don’t know. All I know is that is Hell to live through and that you should get help before you jump into the abyss.