laying down, wondering, debating if i should ever get up. Thinking about how god put me here, patted me on the head and forgot. Forgot there was ever a person inside all of this. Laying here thinking about all the things that made me do what i have done. praying to whoever in suppose to that my siblings dont have put up with the shit i had to. sitting here asking why to recive no answer but a shrill laugh in the back of my mind. Fiannly deciding there is to much on my shoulders, i pick myself up to vomit and crawl back into my dark, damp smelling room. I go to my drawer and get the razor blade. So beautiful and powerful. one good long slice to the right vain and it commits another murder. I run it down my wrists thinking about how much easier its going to be on the other side. Crying from reddened eyes. Tears run dowm ny weakened cheeks. Tears from all the nights i was beaten into unconsiousness. Tears from all the mornings waking up choaking on my own blood. Its over now this is it. this is the last time ill see this sick life ive grown to hate. my last words are to the ones, the voices in the back of my mind. As the blood runs down my finger tips i say goodbye. the horrible nausiating pain is coming back. good bye.