As the broken glass slowly cuts through my arm, I knew right there and then I would never be the same. Up and down, Up and down again I went with the glass intill I broke the skin. You may think I’m a freak, but what if I like to be considered normal. It doesn’t really matter what I want. So lost confused and twisted. Pshyciatry you suggest? Yeah right, and dicuss my problems with a compelte stranger? I feel so used. Well life’s a bitch thats why suicide rates are higher among women then men. SUICIDE!!!!!! That word is like music to my ears. Maybe thats my soultion. I already know I’m damned. Maybe I could pray? PRAY!!!! Thats just hysterical.Ha Ha. As a lay here on my bed I think to myself, I’m never going to be good enough for anyone. I’m never going to live up to other people’s potential. Life treats me so bad. Fuck life. Fuck everything in life. Fuck me.
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I know how you feel, I’ ve been there. But as the years pass by, I become more calm -but I never overcome it completely… It is in my nature to be depressed, and I know that is the reason I’m so isolated. So, when this feeling starts to posses me, I make this thought: I am healthy, independant-almost-, and in love. I immediatelly feel better. I am just trying to give you ideas of forgeting your sadness, at least for some minutes of your day… I know I am ungrateful to be sad, there are so many people treated REALLY bad by life and I am always afraid that something tragical might happen to me only to make me see how lucky (and unfairly sad) I was before…