Nothing works anymore. I am a prisoner. It’s like a cancer. I try to run away from it, and sometimes it lets me think I’m free. Only to show up again the minute I stop looking behind me.
I’m torn. What I’m feeling is not what I should feel. I’m in love and my life is turning around, but the darkness always pulls me back.
I remember when I embraced it, remember when it was my only love. But then I met Ryan, and my whole world turned around. I started to get help. They put me on pills and soon I didn’t need them anymore. I had friends and I loved my family.
The darkness was just a shadow in a room full of light. Then it all started a downward spiral. Things started to look bleak again.
I know now that I can never love. That that is not my destiny. I am destined to be alone forever. A horrible punishment for a sin I have not commited.
Darkness calls me… and I must answer it.