The Cost of Carma

The matter of karma came up earlier here, and it reminded me of something.

I do not subscribe to the technical concept of karma, but I do believe in “what comes around, goes around.” A while back, I was thinking of the string of problems that have hounded me since junior high school, which have followed me to this current day (I am twenty-two years of age).

Despite having them checked over by professional mechanics, my cars break down at least once every six months. Regardless of the fact that I am an excellent driver and am not conspicuous while on the road, the police always find me when my seatbelt does not work, or my stickers are expired. These are only a few of the larger examples, but it is traceable down to the smallest daily routine.

I have never gone hungry, and I have always owned clothes without extra holes (though most of them are faded somewhat), but I suffer from an endless procession of thorns existance sends my way. I wondered what could have happened that I would deserve this when I see so many people who seem to not only breeze through life with nery a care, but who also seemed to have charmed existences (and I can feel their bones cracking in my hands when I close my eyes and focus). One of my high shcool friends had absolutely no morals whatsoever, but only a loose code of behavior that involved being loyal to friends. He was the absolutely luckiest bastard I have ever seen.

Then it came to me, and the thought liberates my heavy heart when I think of it. If what comes around goes around, then I am paying my way in advance. I can wait for karma to pay its debt to me, but it will pay. By god it will pay.