the goading of madness

trapped inside his own head, he stares out the bedroom window, the sky had darkened now and the few stars out winked mysteriously at him.
downstairs he hears them shouting again, it was his fault if he wasnt like he is his parents wouldnt be like this. he wanted a normal life but they wouldnt let him, they controlled his mind telling him things forcing him to do what he knows is wrong and he cant resist them, and then the guilt oh the guilt it taunts him, he tries to deter them by punishing himself but they laugh at his feeble attempts.
“why are you doing this” he screams for the sixth time that night, he beats his hands on his skull trying to stop them from talking, controlling. they have something new for him to do today, its the worst he has heard yet.
‘you want them to stop fighting dont you, you want them at peace?!’ the rasping voice whispered, it sounded like it was outside by his ear but he knew better it was one of them, the voice of reason it calls itself HA. he only tries to make him do it more goads him like the rest.
‘NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I WONT’ he shouts hysterically ‘ I wont do it not this time.’
he grabs something from his draw and runs downstairs and bursts into the living room. it was silent his parents where inches from each other, his dads face was scarlett with anger, his mum had been crying her makeup had run and she had red rimmed eyes. but that was nothing compared to the way he looked, his hair was greasy long and tangled, his eyes bloodshot from insomnia, his mouth twisted in grim sadness, his clothes hung from his skinny body his arms scarred repeatedly from his own ‘punishments’, he was a pitiful mess.
he began to move to his mother, one of his hands behind his back he was shaking violently, whne he was a foot from his mother he raised his eyes to look into hers, ‘I’m sorry mum, i am truly sorry for what i am please forgive me’ and without looking at him ‘and dad i’m sorry too sorry i’m a disappointment. i cant take it any more, they wanted me to do it to you but i cant i wont give them that so goodbye i love you both though.’ fear began to dawn on his mother,
‘no please felix dont’ his mother pleaded in a small voice tears streaming down her face. felix took a few steps back and took a hand gun from behind his back. @goodbye mum, dad i’m sorry.’ it happened too fast from that point on he put the gun in his mouth, his mum screamed his dad jumped to stop felix but it was too late, blood spurted from the back of his head and sprayed the walls, and felix slumped to the floor the gun landing on his lap.his mother rushed over knelt by the body racked with sobs and took his head in her hands, the ambulance had pulled up while she was cradling her sons head. but by the time they came in she had the gun in her hands. her husband walked in followed by two paramedics and she was standing in the middle of the room by felixs’s body ‘i’m sorry i love you’ was all she uttered before pulling the trigger as her son had done.