I posted something along these lines somewhere else,but I wanted to set a seperate topic and see if it flew.
Okay,I’m fairly new here,and I’ve taken the time to look around a bit. One of the prevalent attitudes I’ve seen in a lot of posters has been,frankly, very whiny. There’s lots of “people pick on me,I get harrassed, people look at me funny… they’re all stupid and bad and wrong and a bunch of jerks.” type stuff going on.
Granted, this has mostly been from the younger set,and younguns do have a right to be vocal with their complaints. I understand that totally.
But one thing that has to be understood is this: Humans are group animals. They actually LIKE to segregate themselves into factions. And if you decide to seperate yourself from the larger factions, then they’re going to treat you differently.
That’s just a fact of life. If you don’t want to be stared at, harrassed, picked on, or whatever… and let’s face it..none of it is really as bad as all that..(How many of you are missing fingers or eyes or any real injuries that didn’t heal up in a week or two?) there’s a simple solution…
quit dressing like a damn freak.
It’s that easy. Now, me personally, I welcome a challenge. But if getting stared at, or hard words are going to upset you that much, then take my advice,and lay down your guns right now.. because we don’t need you in this war. No one has the “right” to be left alone..and in this world,with the spread of “McCulture” and Starbucks everywhere, it’s pretty much come down to the basics. Either you’re going to BE an individual,and you’re going to go through heck to be one..or you’re not.
Getting picked on, being insulted.. that’s just the price you pay.
Agreed. On the other hand, when things degenerate into physical assault, it’s time to call the cops. and if that doesn’t work…there’s a serious problem.
Granted,that’s true…
..however,there is a slight problem with that..what if the police are the ones that are attacking you for being different? Granted,that falls into an entirely different category than just being picked on in high school,but..here’s an interesting thought..one of the big stereotypes is that “jocks” are the ones responsible for most of the really violent harrasment in modern high schools.(granted,this stereotype is constantly re-enforced by “jocks” the world over..) Try asking all the local police-men you meet about whether or not they were in any athletic programs in their high-school days. Actually, Sarah.I submitted an article a while back called Columbine Re-visited..if you haven’t already,would you take a look at it and see what you think? I’d kind of be interested in your opinion on the whole thing.
Thanks..
–J.
A few years ago I was picked on the same as I am now, was called the same names basically, and messed with in the same manor. The difference from then to now is, now I DO dress dark and different, but I get the same reactions either way. Maybe it’s because I refuse to conform, but I used to be what you would call ‘average’ looking and got the same amount of criticism. That’s why I changed my style, trying to be different to ward off people. I only get stared at in crowded public (and hardly ever does this happen), but I don’t complain about that, ever. What I can’t live with is ignorance… should I be called a ‘bitch’ because I dress dark, should my friends be called ‘fags’ because they wear fingernail polish? I should hope you would say ‘no,’ because no matter whether or not we do things to allow ourselves to be judged, should these inferences occur? I don’t believe to be the one in the wrong in these situations.
What I’m saying, I think, is that whatever I feel like wearing doesn’t mean I should be harassed. Most people who dress different can tell you they aren’t doing it for attention really (as odd as that sounds). And also, that’s not the only reason people pick. I know because I have been picked on forever (perhaps just because I am weaker) and it had nothing to do with looks.
So, yes, these things can get to us. If someone was talking to a group and said of me a ‘slut’ and this happened quite frequently I might begin to question whether I really am or not. There is not a being alive who in some way can not be affected by harassment (I guess that’s why we have those laws). Anyone who is shielding themself so much as to not feel has a problem with their own feelings.
Usually, no, I’m not one to whine about this. I have only begun to actually speak of it recently. I don’t let my aggressors see they have affected me in any form, though. That is a joy they won’t recieve from me. But I will not deny the fact, to myself, that it does affect me. It wears on everyone in a similar situation. Grinding and grinding.
-LJC
LJC…
No,actually,you’re quite correct. You *shouldn’t* be picked on or harrassed because of they way you are/act/think/dress/etc. Of course, we also *shouldn’t* commit murder or rape,small children shouldn’t go hungry while fat millionaires burn hundred dollar bills to light cigars,and we DEFINITELY *shouldn’t* convert acres and sheer mega-tonnage of earth’s vital resources into quickly thrown away unusable wastes to satisfy a consumer culture. Unfortunately, there’s a vast amount of space between *should not* and *is not*. You can’t act on what *should* or *should not* be,in anthing other than a “Do your best to create a situation in which to exist that *is* what it *should be* according to your views” kind of way.You can only act on what *is* in immediate situations.That’s just a sad fact of life. There is one thing I would like to comment on specifically,though…You said,and I quote:
“So, yes, these things can get to us. If someone was talking to a group and said of me a ‘slut’ and this happened quite frequently I might begin to question whether I really am or not. There is not a being alive who in some way can not be affected by harassment (I guess that’s why we have those laws). Anyone who is shielding themself so much as to not feel has a problem with their own feelings.”
So,basically,in my understading of what you’ve said,if enough people say you’re a slut,then you might start thinking it of yourself? What if,instead of “slut”,they were saying,say..”Two headed purple monitor lizard.”? Would you eventually start to wonder if you were,perhaps,a two headed purple monitor lizard?No,of course you wouldn’t. Well,unless you have MUCH deeper problems of self-image than average humans. People’s perceptions and opinions only change and affect you to the degree that you choose to allow them to affect you. These are easy words to say,easy words to hear,but it can take a life-time to realise how true they are. YOU are the only arbitor of who you are, LJC.No one else can have any emotional or spiritual power over you that you do not allow them to have.This has nothing to do with “shielding themself so much as to not feel”,as it is in carefully choosing WHAT external,imposed views you actually enjoy creating in others,and acting on that impulse to further them.
Well, looks like we have quite a conversation going on here… I will continue to be a freak (and freak others out)! Hee hee, I have never really hated that name put to me. Hell, it’s the name of my site. My self esteems been beaten, but I’m working on that.
Just out of curiosity… how old would you assume me? I know you know I’m in High School, but what are you thinking age wise? Just wondering.
Honestly? I’d say you could be a VERY precocious 14-year old,or a VERY shy 19 year-old. Anywhere in between there. In all honesty,at that age,there’s so many differences between age-groups that vary by only six months or so,that,to me,anyway,it’s difficult to keep track.
Heyheyhey, now kiss and make up. I won’t stand idly by and let you call yourself lizard names. That’s just not fair. As far as I go, I’m not a gothic sorta guy (dresswise a tleast) but I am what you call a rebel. I hate everything, even without a proper reason (why should we change this, why should this stay the same?) You know..all for the better 🙂
Zeke.
You say you’re a “rebel”,eh? like how? Like as in bomb-throwing anti-govcorp control rebel..or is “rebel” just a word you use because you don’t have any other words? You hate everything..but what do you love? It’s easy to say you’re rebelling. That’s a hip,cool,anti-culture buzzword. but what are you rebelling against? What are your methods? A trench-coat and braids do not a rebel make,nor does bad fashion sense an insurrection cause. What is YOUR war,and how do YOU fight it? Be specific.
My war is against every person in this world who wants to control another person. In the most basic form, this against opression, but I find myself most often facing politicians who wants to legislate eavesdropping on civilians. You know, there’s this big thing called “Echelon” you might have heard about it. If I was to bomb one target, it would be that one. It violates everything I hold dear. I am nobody’s big brother, and I don’t want a big brother watching me either.
Zeke.
I enjoy being who I am, and alot of people do not like me because I am not who they want me to be.
I take the insults and I turn them around, if someone is going to insult me I choose not to insult them back but I do choose to make them think…
I remember the one day someone called me a “freak” and I looked deep in to his eyes and said “isn`t that what I am supposed to be”
He was confused than after and has yet to speak a word to me since.
The idea that trends and popularity are more important then a persons personality is sickening but we do chose to be who we are and do have to pay the price whether it is fare or not.
Just remember we`re better then those who insult us!!!
So I’m curious. we’ve defined the enemy..what are your methods? What do you do to stop Echelon? Or government/corporate control over others in any form?
Here,here, FragileSin! (Who I suspect is not *quite* so fragile.)
My methods, or I should say ours, consists basically of two things: 1. Enlightenment and 2. Support.
When I say Enlightenment I mean spreading information regarding what these ‘government projects’ consists of, and wether they can be viewed as a threat to privacy or freedom. I firmly believe in the right to keep thoughts private and to be able to email your friends or anybody without someone ‘screening’ your email or tapping your phone. Sure, the government (or the organisational groups, like the NSA) would say that they need this in order to find out what terrorists are up to, yet they fail in their quest. We have no problem with them doing their jobs, keeping us safe from these villains, but my point is when something like Echelon gets legislated and they can wiretap/screen/eavesdrop on anyone they please, you have paved the way for a powerhungry beurocratic moron to do as he (or she) pleases. So, we decided the best way is to give out every ounce of information we can about such issues, this is our main weapon against *them*.
Support: We support every major software and hardware program that deals with security issues. PGP was one such victory, and we encourage people who can make such software to continue doing so. It’s yet another monkey wrench in the wheels of ‘espionage’.
We do not support hacking, out of principles. At least, not yet 😉
One book I have found to be interesting regarding this is called “Network Security in a Mixed Environment”, written by Dan Blacharski and published by IDG Books. The author writes very well and points to a number of genuine problems dealing with network security and espionage.
I recommend this book to anyone who’s interested or curious about this kind of thing 😉
Oh, and when it comes to Echelon, I doubt even a new law against eavesdropping can stop it. Only extensive encryption can protect your emails/phone lines in the future.
And to anyone from Echelon who reads this: “Big Daddy will watch Big Brother carefully.”
Zeke.
‘It’s not easy being green’ Kermit, de Frog
Zeke, I agree completely. It surprises me how uninformed and uninterested the younger generation is with what their government is doing. Granted I can’t keep up with everything but at least I try. I commend you for your distrust of our government, I personally believe that without criticism our government would fail to improve. I am a firm believer in ‘a more perfect union’. It is this sort of anti-patriotism that forces America to change and become better.