Every now and then the Darkness starts fading. I am afraid. I am afraid to embrace the Light. Afraid of what lies beyond the borders of my home. The Darkness pulls, and I know the Light is good. But the Darkness has a comfort to it. It has been my home for so long that, while I yearn to enter the Light I am afraid that I will not adjust and will come crawling back to the Darkness. My keeper; my watcher; my prison. Others have made the journey with setbacks and long awaited gains, but I am too afraid to go. Afraid, but I don’t know why.
I will try. I do try. To regain my life. To not let the Darkness be my king. But He is a king. One that rules with an iron fist. He lets me think I have freedom and when I am my most vulnerable, He snatches me back to His dark recesses. I am His slave.
I want so much to run to the Light, but I am not swift or strong and I do not have the strength to make the journey. For now I sit in the dark shade of the trees and look longingly towards the fields of the Light. Hoping, praying that one day I find the strength to journey to the Light. That one day I may escape.
Very poetic, Mourning Star. Take a Leap of Faith into the Light, but what you may find may not be all that you might imagine…it has it’s pitfalls too.
Some of us would rather be in the trees to be honest.
But if you wanna come out here, where the sun burns, and the wind rips at you, that’s fine.
Just don’t expect that it’s easy out here, it’s not. No matter where you are, you yourself bring complications. Darkness isn’t your King, it’s a part of you magnified and glorified. And you can control it. If you can’t get into the light, make the light come to you.
i never expect that anything will be easy. i never expect anything will be as i imagine, and i never expect anything to be good.
thanx.
–mourning