The voices’

I can hear them in my head, the voices. They’re everywhere inside and outside of me. I can feel them in me, taking control and never letting go. So much like the shadows only they hold no comfort for me. They torment me; inside they make it hard to breath, to cry, to do anything unless they say so. My master my controllers my lovers.
I can scream and grab my head in pain. The torment will never leave me it will always be there inside me watching feeding off me like a parasite that controls you over. I can curl up in a ball and hide in the dark corners begging for the shadows to come and rescue me but they can only get so far. Before my blessed lovers will stop them.
I scream when they hurt me and laugh when they try again. My mind slowly leaves me and in time it will be no more than just a memory if I can have any left. Soon ill just become one of their pets. To bow and play good, and do as they wish. I don care any more. Because long ago I lost the sense of what was pleasure and what was pain. Maybe soon ill gain it back. But right now; the music and the blades, the slaps and degrading actions and comments, the cruel laughter and nails breaking my skin, the tearing of my flesh inside and out have all become my pleasures. Those reassuring words, confident words, positive actions, sweet kisses, gentle creases, loving touches, cloths to clean the blood, bandages and salves to heal the scars and take away affection, those have become the pain.
I’m slowly losing my mind every day it goes faster than the last soon nothing will be left. I don’t know when my sorrow became my friend my insane thoughts became rational when the crying became my only joy. I don’t care anymore. I’ll always serve them now those voices that slowly strip away those qualities of me everyday and turn into a shell. They have become my masters and my lovers, they say they love me so I’ll love them and give them everything. I’ll believe all their lies, just for as long as they tell me they love me.