“There is no life beyond this point”
The warning sign said to me
In the middle of a deserted wasteland
There for no one else but me to see
Contemplating my dire situation, I am doing
What brought me to this place?
Alone, tired, weak, and lonely
My heart bleeding, dried tears on my face
Wandering lost in the wasteland of life
Hoping to find my way in the abyss
Seeking company, friends, love, and joy
But finding only sand, rocks, cold and darkness
“There is no life beyond this point”
Again I slowly read its warning
Why have I traveled here to the edge?
And why do I have this yearning
To cross beyond this sacred line
To find out if the sign is right
That life will end upon my passing
So simple to do but it takes all my might
I stop and stare and read again
Am I the only one here?
To reach this point of no return
With an empty heart and soul of fear?
Nightfall comes and I am there
Waiting for conviction and will
To cross that line into eternity
I want to go, but I’m waiting still
“There is no life beyond this point”
Stop and look back to where you came
When you reach the sign and turn around
Everything you’ve seen won’t look the same
Grasp a small lesson from the very edge
Of life on earth as you know
Visit the sign just once for wisdom
But come again, and back you’ll never go
So I turn and walk away
In any direction that I choose
In this game of life I know I can’t win
But now I’m feeling like I won’t loose
To the edge and back I learned a lesson
I’m no coward or a fool, but seeker driven
Only when we reach our darkest point
Can we learn those lessons pain has given
“There is no life beyond this point”
Don’t travel again to visit this space
Learn of life from life near death
Know your journey on earth is not a waste
Postscript: Today is the 4 year anniversary of my suicide attempt. I damn near did it. It has been a long, long journey to learn from that and somehow move on. On this anniversary, a lot of emotion came bubbling up – stuff that I guess I needed to deal with and am only now able to do so. I learned a lot from that experience. I learned that from the depths of loneliness and pain came some very important lessons for me. I learned that in some small way, I chose to continue living, or at least to keep learning what it means to live. There is still darkness and pain in my life, maybe nowhere near what I felt 4 years ago. In a way the experience has given me more courage to keep going. By the way, the sign is real. It is a metal pyramid sculpture with the words “There is no life beyond this point” engraved around its base.