I am a cutter,and i always try to push the blade down a little harder just to try and die but something in me stops it.I have tried to commit suicide 20 times and almost die on 2. i never wanted this life i never wanted to be born cant i just die and yet after i die will i not hurt anymore? i never know and i am so alone no one knows i cut it is like trying to keep a murder secret it never happens.I know they see the scars on my arms they have walked in on me when i was cutting but all they say is “what are you doing” as if they do not know maybe they like to pretend that i am a perfect child.
I am not.I guess i screwed up their plans and i am sorry.
I have cut and drank the blood and i have walked out with blood on my lips just to see if they even care enough to notice.They dont even look at meI know they know i am a cutter and a vamp at that but why do they not speak the last time i laughed that i can remember was about a year ago that was when i didnt cut but i was a vamp
I AM SORRY I M NOT PERFECT MAYBE YOU CAN STILL LOVE ME????
Most of the time when people cut they do it for attention. From what you’ve written it seems as if you do. Sometimes cutting is a cry for help. Maybe that’s just what you want…Someone to care enough to tell you to stop. I know how that is. It’s not a good idea to make sure people know you’re a cutter. Bad things happen when you make it obvious. I know from experience.
Oh good im not the only one who got in trouble for it. I dont cut for attenion, personaly i just dont see a reason to be ashamed for it, look at the people doing drugs, and having one night stands. This is my release so leave it be. Yep it really does seem like you just need a lot of attenion why not just ask for it straight out.
You know, I must say, if you’ve tried killing yourself 20 times, you must not have been trying very hard, if at all. Had you ever thought about jumping off a building???? I myself have a few tries under my belt, but gave up when self esteem led me to believe I couldn’t even do THAT right and figured that I probably didn’t DESERVE to be dead. Now I can have a good chuckle when I think back on waking up after overdosing binges and thinking how foolish I was to believe I could go out with a little fun.
Not all cutters cut for attention. Like Nelokrista mentioned, alot of people do it for release. I think of it as a very personal experience. But you, gothvamperella666, sound like you are in dire need of attention. Cutting, then sucking on the blood, then leaving blood on your lips for all to see, then stating that you do it to see if anyone would even notice is obvious proof of it. How old are you? Very curious, younger people tend to be just so confused when they have to resort to self mutilation for attention.
You’ve most likely gone through some trauma to act this way and all I can really say is wait till you grow out of it. After you’ve been given time to heal, go though that whole denial, anger, acceptance bullshit, then you can really just shed your skin and give yourself some fucking peace.
Ok then, im pretty sure everyone on this site has either tried to die or used themselves as a cutting board. NeloKrista gets another agreement on this one, relief is a huge thing that some people just get out of it.. As for the whole not being noticed.. that get’s old fast eh? I hate when no one notices anything about who we are. Sometimes the whole blood letting becomes part of who we are and the scars serve to remind us it can always be worse, after ofcourse we move on. Believe me, youre next time rolling in the social gutter wont feel quite as bad because you’ll know it’s just the same shit different pile.
Yep….^_^. I am sorry if you get mad at me for agreeing that you need attention but mabe you dont I dont know that much about you I am just going on you sub. so please forgive if i offend
First it is fucking stupid to cut yourself for attention. Come on if you want to die do it don’t cry out because people who cryout when they want to die don’t really want to die tey just want attention witch is fucking stupid. cutting yourself should only be done for the pleasure not attention never for atttention.
I feel share your pain. I myself am still a cutter…even though i try and convice myself that i have stopped. As DeathAwaitsMe has said, it sounds like the cutting is due to attention…dont be afraid to speak out. Yell and tell them whats wrong…dont hurt yourself for their mistake.
I cut for the feeling of it all, to take some anger out every so often….try not to cut for attention…they are not worth it…
i agree w u ^ they’re not worth it! “I guess i screwed up their plans ” what right did they have to make plans anyway?? its ur life n u shouldnt feel sorry just for being urself. im sorry to tell u, u cant ask anybody to love u. it just doesnt work. trust me, i found it out the hard way. i dont think its stupid actually, i think we all need attention. anyway, suicide is something quite serious, and i think if theres something inside u that stops u mayb theres something in ur life worth living. good luck
look dont try to kill yourself, u think that everyone is against you and that no one cares but im sure that somone does even a person you would least expect and your death will only cause more pain for others who do care.
I completely agree with The1whohurts, Its ends up like a disease..becoming an adict to something like this. Its kinda strange yet slightly warming to see that so many people feel the same…and have the same issues. May we all cope well and find our true meaning..
! Yo do need a little attention sometimes! Cutting is a very serious and important thing you will be explaing your self for ever. If you choose to cut for attention only be prepared to live with it for your whole life. I am a “cutter” but not for attention because I couldn’t deal with pain. I became very addicted and no one gave a shit. Very few people saw my cuts and if they did it was not because I wanted them too. I wanted no one to see what I did to my self. I felt as if I had a weakness and that just makes you want to cut more it is a funny circle round and round it goes. But there are other ways to gain attention if you feel you need to the whole world to see you do something good for the earth at least someone will be getting something out of it. Attention comes form were you don’t want it to and it will always be that way take what you can get!
Hey, i know how you feel. i’m the one who always sits in my room with razors in hand. i know how it can be. i’m hurting the same way. and like you i write about it. but unlike all these other jerks i don’t really think you want that much attention. you are just hurting and there is nothing else you can do about it except cut. but you need a friend who can help you and care enough about you to tell you to stop. i had a friend like that. but she’s gone now. i’ll never get to see her again. so yes i still cut. but unlike you i’ve never been caught. and i try real well to hide the scars. the only person who knew about it was my old best friend. well take care. i gotta run. but seriously dont cut any more. your too good for that. unlike myself. plus i love reading your work. your very talented so stay with us a little longer. ok?
I totaly agree whith god, except for me , I enjoy cutting and dont want to stop. All the same, I know where your comming from keep up the good work!
Hey I’ve done it too and there are many reasons why you would do something like that. Sometimes you want the people you love to see and help you, sometimes it’s a release, sometimes it’s a spur of the moment thing where you get so angry and upset you don’t know what you are doing.
I found it hard to stop but I managed it in the end, it’s like giving up fags take it one day at a time.
hey
i showed this one to my boy friend cause that is how i am he thoguht i wrote it i told him you did though he said that made him feel alittle better i was a really good poem/story
gothic sugar
okay ido that 2. icut my self almost evry nite waitng to see what will happen.
thugh i’m not trying to kill myself, i do enjoy the marks it makes. and i also drink my blood i dunno why my friends say it’s wrong. the other day i slit my wrist right in front of my friend. she said it wasn’t cool unless sum1 does it with me. but what the fuck does she know i offered her my blade and she just walked away. evryone sees no one cares. thats the type of shit that makes me do it it helps me forget them. just for a litte while. but i do hide my scars so my mom don see. she’d put me on medication an make me see a fuckin phsyciotrist. so thats all i gotta say but u probly don care either.
Hmm…I see that in this place there are cutters too…I tend to do cut myself from time to time too but mostly I do it for the blood drinking…I do this with my g/f and her sis. it’s almost like a blood-drinking 3some…to tell you the truth I find cutting yourself (and the blood drinking) bliss…most ppl will never understand this…most ppl are too ignorant to understand this…one thing I trully hate though is when ppl judge for it…I mean it’s my life…let me do what ever the fuck I want to do with it…look don’t sweat it…maybe all you really need is more blood to calm you down…forget those mud bloods* and their way of living (*yeah it’s from harry potter,what about it?!?!)…just keep on doing what you enjoy doing…in this world their is no such thing as perfect…ppl like them (the ones who judge you) just make it up to make them feel superior to us….
Hmm…I see that in this place there are cutters too…I tend to do cut myself from time to time too but mostly I do it for the blood drinking…I do this with my g/f and her sis. it’s almost like a blood-drinking 3some…to tell you the truth I find cutting yourself (and the blood drinking) bliss…most ppl will never understand this…most ppl are too ignorant to understand this…one thing I trully hate though is when ppl judge for it…I mean it’s my life…let me do what ever the fuck I want to do with it…look don’t sweat it…maybe all you really need is more blood to calm you down…forget those mud bloods* and their way of living (*yeah it’s from harry potter,what about it?!?!)…just keep on doing what you enjoy doing…in this world their is no such thing as perfect…ppl like them (the ones who judge you) just make it up to feel superior to us….
Gothvamperella, I feel said and pained upon reading what you wrote. What God wrote struck me most. Goth, I don’t know why they don’t listen or speak but i do know that you are OK. You don’t want to live and wish you were never born but you are alive. You are very troubled. Your cutting is a symptom of that. I wish you well and hope that you find answers that help soon because you are woth it.
excuse my not having spell checked b4.
I meant to say I feel sad and pained upon reading what you wrote. You are awesome, Gothvamperella. And you don’t have to be perfect – because no one is!
But you are still awesome.
I cut not for attention but just because I like phisical pain. I like to drink the blood from my self-enflicted wounds. I started out small with pins and things but now I use Red-Hot, Candal Burned Knives. I say ” The more the pain the better the pleasure.”
i think you fear death because you fear not being remembered,not being noticed.cutting one self is one of many ways people try for attention.like punks,bolts in their noses,their strange hair,skulls on their cloths,it’s all forms of trying to make poeple look at them,they want to be noticed and feeling they are being ignored it makes them try and stand out.hell,if you did get the attention you wanted by dying,then how do you expect to enjoy being noticed?
I was just wondering…..what are you expecting them to do….?How do you want them to show their attention to you?…personaly im geting tired of hearing about people ho want to kill them selves,talking about being free fromi this world,they dont belong alive,and so on and so on…i admit i want to have the curage to inflict pain on myself,but i have my reasons for that…..but anyway,i would like to know what is it you want them to do?
you know most of these comments that these farie fucks are putting on are complety wrong if you have a problem you need a friend to talk to, some one who will tell you the truth and not lie to make you feel good (personaly i hate ppl saying something not true i want to hear the truth) that way when they do say something nice it feels that much better!! i am a gothic freak! most of these other ppl and mabie you are to no matter wht ne one says we are the best cause we are the ones that experince wht no one else will or want to no matter wht ne one says cutting is not ok!! ..i do it too… but if you die think bout it you hurt and put ppl in the same possision you are in know my feonce killed her fucking self infront of me and i think bout it every day and i live with it i used to cut for attion and know i do it for relese and fuck ne one that you dont like this is a realy mixed message srry i agree with all of them i think you need attion but you do it for relese and i like your work so stay alive or i will have to come down there or up were ever you are and i will i dont know but i will do something lol keep up the good work fuck ne one who say’s difrent
Hmmm…..im a bit confused about what you said…..if you go to a friend they are the least likly to tell the truth for fear they do not want to hurt you,complete strangers have no bonds to that person so they have no need to hold back what they feel,but maybe thats just me……
Yeah, well I have to be discerning when you talk to people. What good does it do to go to someone for advice or support when all that person will do is back you up in your wrong thinking or prejudices. You want and need someone who will question your areas that need correction. And ultimattely you have to conclude these things for yourself.
I see a lot of people going to others on here just to find someone to back them up, to make them feel OK. What good is there is having, for example, a rapist who backs up another rapist with support or shared experiences??!!!! That is absurd. But I’ve seen that stuff on here – on this site! It’s bloody crazy! That is not the company a reformed rapist needs to keep or seek – its the company they want to get away from. And I see cutters seeking out other cutters to justify their self harming. Get real!!!
Bloody absurd. Wake up people!!!!! You need to be around healthy people to overcome unhealthy behaviour. Being around other sick people will only prolong and reinforce bad behaviour, bad thinking, bad living. It’s bloody simple!
This is probably going to sound corny, but that seriously made me want to cry = Is it alright if I hug you? And just a question, are you talking about your parents? (Sorry I get confused a lot)
It seems to me even though cutting may be a sign or cry for help, I think to be weakness. Sometimes people aren’t quite sure of there existence in this reality and resort to inflicting themselves with some kind of wound for affirmation. Are you sure when you cut yourself there’s noone else inside you pushing the blade a little farther each time. It’s ok to admit you need help, the question is whether you want it or not.