Do you know how many times I crawl under my blankets just wishing there was no such thing as tomorrow? As another day comes and I wake up with my head pounding and my stomache turning, I want to go back to dark sleep and sweet dreams.
Life is not sweet. It is facing an empty spot by my side. It’s not knowing how a hand would feel on my back. It’s being filled with words no one hears. It’s drinking right away to just forget that no one seems to care. It’s being hurt each and every time that I look at my own face. It’s the way my knuckles crack and bleed each time the mirror breaks. It’s wishing more to have someone when I have nothing to give. It’s never ever asking for life and being told to be thankful to live. It’s reaching out to someone else because I can’t make it myself and feeling just so damned left out because no one reaches so far down. My side is cold and you’re not here. The air is cold and thick as fear. I didn’t want life anyway. God, do you hear me, I’m done and I’m ready. Some scars are fine, I’ve got too many.