It’s just too damned calm at the moment. Is there a storm coming up ahead, or is it just my imagination being locked out of what is happening around myself at the moment? Is something missing in this uneasy quiet? There is something that I cannot see, cannot feel, cannot touch upon.
This is worse than having too many things happening in my life, this lull. Don’t even know if I’m heading in the right direction at the moment. Inside I feel like I’m twisting and running around in circles for something, trying to find a way out of this. What’s holding me back, I don’t know, just something that is keeping me in one spot of the moment.
What is waiting up ahead, I don’t know either. I feel detached from all this at the moment, even from my body sometimes, like I am not all here all of the time. I can see my hands tapping on the keys, yet even this feels diconnected at this moment. Is my mind doing something that I can’t see here? Is something happening within that I don’t understand, some change that is occurring within that is gliding along on its own speed?
At any moment I feel like flying off somewhere, into some other space. It’s unnerving and weird right now. Part of me wants to stay and get on with this, wait to see it out; the other half wants to escape off to parts unknown, maybe even hide away from everything that there is.