TWISTED LOVE; FAILED SUICIDE; FIGHT WITHIN

I wept for you once, I blame me

But you’re the one that got it back times 3

I wept for you twice, that’s your fault now

I said I loved you once, and I don’t know how

You were gonna be the excuse for my life ending

Maybe the excuse for the life that was pending

The I realized you’re not worth anything of mine anymore

Your love shoulda been great but instead it was a chore

Now death seems fun and great to me

You didn’t care, you wouldn’t see

You didn’t love me that was a lie

I shed a tear for you, u made me cry

I was blinded by love, how stupid of me

Through your lies I was disabled and couldn’t see

My loss turned to hatred quite fast

You made me forget my screwed up past

But when you left it all came crashing back to me

Ten times harder for me to see

I almost ended it I swear I was going to

Then I realized it wasn’t about you

Ok so I loved you, I couldn’t help that now

I just said I loved u, still don’t know how

Standing in the bathroom blood on the floor

A chair blocking the entrance way to the door

I look down at my bare and bloody arm

How your lies seemed like charm

Then I woke up from my dream

And noticed you weren’t what you had seemed

Prince in shining armor…nope not anymore

Fearful parents beating on the blocked door

“what’s wrong we can help you”

HA, that’s what you think, I’m past help, its through

Stupid parents leaving sharp things around

Nice deep bathtub, maybe I should “accidentally” drown

Why do I think like this my life’s okay as I’m told

I wish they knew the secrets I hold

They couldn’t know, they would just send me away

Should just get it over with and shorten my stay

I don’t have the courage, I cant do this right

Just another losing fight

Oh well I’ve surprised myself before

Maybe I should go unlock the door

NO, that wouldn’t work, I cant do that now

I need to explain this, but I don’t know how

Started with you, ending with me

All because u simply couldn’t see

But I don’t blame you that wouldn’t be fair

Because of course it wouldn’t matter you wouldn’t careI don’t understand you and I wont ever

Your forever, turned out to mean NEVER

How would I have guessed how could I have known

Now I just want to die and be left alone

Drip drip drip once more

Again and again onto the floor

Strangled screams echo the halls

Death and dying trapped within the walls

No one else knows about this feeling I hide

No one knows about the part of me that’s died

No one would care to know

No one understands this part of me though

I sit and write about all these awful things

And think of all the relief that death brings

But I couldn’t really go through with it now

I could be brave, but I don’t know how

(Brave and face it, or brave and end it)

Published
Categorized as poetic

By raven_lostchild

im 14 and stuck in a town where everyone is a racist or just an asshole...therefore life pretty much sucks. but other than that my fav. bands are such as kiTTie, gODHEAD, Cradle of Filth, Dimmu Borgir, Soil, Coal Chamber, Rob Zombie, Crossbreed, Hatebreed