unorganized thoughts

speaking to myself, realizing that nothing will ever change and if they do they already did yet only for the worse. the thought of ending it all slipped into my mind for a brief moment. and yet it felt so good to let the blade take over me, deeply cutting away all of my misery. blood slowly flowing out, and suddenly a complete feeling of comfort over whelmed my body. and i smiled for the first time in ages, it felt nice. ah but then, the rush of memories invaded my consciousness and i became angry with myself all over again. and i kept at it, i kept letting the blade talk to my skin. and everyday afterwards they spoke. they listen to each other. but then today they fought, and fought and fought. and suddenly the blade cursed and blood would not stop spewing out. and i felt my hand letting go, not only of the blade but of reality itself. and i fell. i fell forever, but i didnt want to stop falling i was to scared to think of where i’d end up…