Well, I bet that got your attention.
Just some random observations:
In literature, vampires rarely have sex (and when they do engage in sex, they do it for the sake of their lover or because it will help them feed, they don’t do it for the sex). In real life, most of the vampires I know, myself included, have lusty appetites (oh, yeah, for sex too – nudge nudge).
In literature, vampires seduce “prey” via domination, and the piercing of flesh by fangs has sadomasochistic overtones. In real life, we’re perverts too.
In literature, foreplay is everything – the Embrace, the Kiss, it sounds like a bodice ripper. In real life – I can only speak for myself here, but yeah, I like that a lot too. In addition to the more…pneumatic…stuff.
In literature, male vampires tend to be masterly and female vampires tend to be seductive. At least aside from Anne Rice and P.N. Elrod, in which case, all vampires are seductive and masterly, and so are the mortals (Rice) or all vampires and mortals are sensuously vanilla (Elrod). In real life, the demographic on my list anyway seems to be that most of the female vampires (aside from me, I suppose, but I’ve always been weird) are submissives in the bedroom, and the male vampires are dominant but very curious about switching. And the donors are the ones on top! Mostly. Aside from those vampires who feed from topping, in which case, the statistics can just be thrown out the window.
In literature and film, male and female vampires alike are ageless, beautiful, and sexy. In real life, all vampires are as sexy as they want to be, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and there’s a good mixture of plain and pretty…and most of the people who come out are under the age of forty. Isn’t that bizarre? The only “vampire of maturity” that I can think of is the Bloofer Lady, Elizabeth Miller. And maybe Inanna Arthen if she’s turned forty by now. Oh, yes, and Martin Riccardo. But the real elders, the over-forty vampires, seem to be few and far between. Are there less of them, or are they just hiding in the coffin?
– The Grand Poobah