Venting: Epilogue

And this is what I’ve gone and done now. I’ve registered with a Gothic website. Lord knows how this will turn out. I don’t know, I guess I’m just looking for my own people. I can’t count myself among Muslims, though, should my Lord beckon, my sword and my life are at His service.

I have never counted myself among my countrymen, something that everyone in my family has pointed out since I was 10. I’m barely a part of my own family… they accept me, but that really isn’t the same thing. I expect that I am as Gothic as someone as straight-laced as me could be… I don’t wear black all the time, though I do feel more secure when I do. I like things that most people seem to find grotesque, like the pendant I’ve ordered… and that’s another thing. I can’t wear gold, so I’ve decided to replace the chain that mama bought me when I was 6, with a silver chain, and a pendant. My original pendant had been stolen. The irony that I am replacing the name of God with the image of a demon has not escaped me.
What of other things? I had an invitation to spend the winter break with a friend and her family… and it would have changed me, I’m sure… but it was not to be. I won’t even be working during the winter. Should be interesting to see what will transpire. I shall certainly burst into flames, but whether I rise from the embers, or my ashes are blown away, remains to be seen.