I know I shouldn’t be like this, but at the same time I can’t help being like this. Something has changed to cause me to be this way, just because of the way I have lived this life so far and come to this way. And so I worry about the friend I can no longer contact.
It is the not knowing that worries me the most, the waiting to find out. There just is no way and I have to wait as patiently as possible. When will it end, I do not know, there is no one I could ask, no one who could give me an answer, no one who could help me at this time.