what would happen if i took one more? just one more to end the suffering, one more to end the pain. what would happen if i stood on the edge of the cliff, the wind rushing through my hair, the scent of the sea all around, what would happen if i took one more step.
what would i do if i could look down and watch the waves crashing on the rocks, watch them smashing into the cliff face? what would i do as i stood there? would i take one more step? would i be brave enough? or maybe the question is would i be enough of a coward? would i look out to sea, out towards infinity, and be afraid? and if i was afraid, what would i be afraid of? death? or life? would i stand there, looking down at the waves and rocks below, and think of you? think of all the hurtfall things you say and do? the way you are ashamed of me, the way im a disapointment to you. the way i can never be who you want me to be. and if i looked down and thought all these things would i beg forgiveness from God? forgivenes for who? for you? or for me? or would i renounce my beliefs? renounce God? renounce my faith? if i stood on the edge of the cliff would i dare to take that one more step? or would i step back, and return to you? return to my life, forever to wonder what would have happened if i taken that one extra step? and what would happen if i did take that one last step? would i be lucky enough to plummet to my death, or would i survive? survive and have to live my life. and if i survived would i have the strengh to live or would i try again? thinking these thoughts, feeling these feelings, i think i would, i think i’d stand there, whisper goodbye into the wind, send a prayer towards the sky and then take one more step. maybe i’d pray for death on the way down, or maybe there wouldn’t be time. maybe, if i prayed, just maybe, my prayer would be answered.