what you wanted

“i never wanted you in the first place.” he stated like he wanted those words to drill into my brain, to make me go away. “well then next time use a condom.”

i say back with just as much anger and hate as the man who im supposed to call my father. “no wonder you have no friends,” he says “you’re a bitch.” “well what do you want me to do about that?” i retort. “well you cant die, so nothing.” he says, with a grin. that’s it, i think. if thats what he wants, he’ll get it. i go into my room, go into the drawer on the jewlery box i never use that my mom gave me when i was her little princess. grab the razors i use to get back at myself for every little thing. i calmly walk back into the family room, lift up my sleeve, bare my scars, the skin that never sees light. i slice the flesh so deep i can feel the friction. “is this what you want?” i practically scream at him. cut more, frantically, at my wrist, blood pours on the carpet. “will this take back your ‘accident’?” i ask. he barely looks over his shoulder, he doesnt see. so i go back into my room, lay on my bed. i let the crimson pain flow out of my wrist into a puddle on my bed. he’ll see, it hink as i lay there. i smile, just thinking about how he’ll be arrested when the cops find my suicide note, blaming him, as i fall into the eternal slumber of death.

By xsilentXscreamsx

i am a very boring person, trust me i would know im around myself all the time, but anyhoo... im 14, i hate my life, but what else is new? i get labeled as punk/gothic, mainly gothic, i hate labels because they are stupid and just another way to stereotype people, i live in Bellingham, WA (which you've probably never heard of) and if anyone cares, i am bi, and if you're homophobic you're stupid... dont get me started on that subject... i want to die... i dont care if people say they care, they dont show it, i dont care if people dont care, because in any case thats all i expect of them, someday ill make it, and ill go by as peacefully as i came, no one on here will notice, and i dont expect you to care.