It seemed to be a day like any other. Jen didn’t go to school, because her mother was ill and she had to take care of her five siblings. She would have gone to the pharmacy, but her mother adviced her not to go, since she heard someone shooting in the streets this morning. Jen shook her head and said that she’s going to be alright and went anyway. She had told her siblings to lock the door twice and not open to anyone, just in case, altough they all knew the rules of this ghetto already.
“Hey Cooper,” she greeted the janitor’s daughter.
“Hi…” she replied nonchalantly and continued sorting the trash out. Cooper was a short tomboy-like girl with glasses that seemed a little too big for head. She hid her brown hair under a huge NY cape, which she had stolen in the mall two years ago. She was one of the few white girls in the ghetto neighborhood and you could never see her hanging out with friends. She had none. Her mother told her it was best to stay out of any groups, it was just too dangerous around here and you could not trust anyone. Not black people nor white people. Stick for yourself, avoid conflicts and you’ll be just fine.
“I’m going to the pharmacy, want to go with me? We might meet Mike on the way, he always gives me fags,” she added enthusiastically and picked up a bottle, which Cooper had dropped.
“I’m not going out, you fool. Didn’t you hear the shooting today? The Panthers are around again. But if you don’t value your life not even a little bit, just go ahead, get killed.” Jen wasn’t all too surprised about her answer. Cooper was always playing the cool and careless person, she never had a nice word left for anyone. But Jen knew that she was happy if someone talked to her and made her day a little brighter. Altough, she’d never admit it. Never.
“Fine, I’ll be going then,” she turned around and went downstairs. “Oh by the way… Could you stop by our door and check out if my folks is alright? They won’t open, but just make sure you hear them from inside.”
“Meh,” frowned Cooper and kicked the garbage can angrily. /It must suck to be responsible for a ghetto flat, which didn’t leave any hope for seing better times/, thought Jen and vanished outside.
There were almost no people outside, just like she expected. It was quite usual to hear shoots in the neighborhood, but still people were frightened by it and didn’t leave their apartments for the whole day.
The woman in the pharmacy examined her carefully, but when she saw that Jen didn’t come to beg for medicine, she took her money and gave her the pills. Outside the pharmacy Jen saw a black woman with her little child, who was coughing and breathing heavily. She asked Jen for some money to buy medicine for her child, but Jen only shook her head at her and hurried back home. The longer she left her family alone at home, the more dangerous it was for them. She knew that she couldn’t be a big help if the Panthers broke into their apartment and killed them all, but she wanted to be with her family most of the time, if possible. That’s why she didn’t go to school every day and that’s why she always asked Mike or her older cousin to get groceries for them.
She sighed in relief when she entered the flat and hurried upstairs to their apartment, when suddenly she heard Cooper screaming from downstairs. It came from the basement. She wondered what had happened, but was too afraid to go check it out. After a second scream, she decided to go take a look, she couldn’t just left Cooper on her own. Rushing down to the basement, she dropped the medicine in hurry, but she didn’t go back to pick it up.
“Please Xenia, don’t hurt me!” cried Cooper and fell down on her knees in fright. Jen wasn’t careful enough and the Panthers already saw her coming down the stairs into the cold and dark basement. Suddenly, they all quited their laughter and the only noises remaining in the room where Cooper’s sobbing and the quiet humming of the electricity provider in the background. Jen just stood where she was and glared at Xenia shockedly. So, her old friend became one of the Panthers… She was not only scared, but also dissapointed in her. Xenia used to be one of her best friends to hang around in the evenings. They shared their stuff and even food, when there were bad times and no money.
“Now look who’s come to get punished,” Xenia smiled mischeviously at her. Jen knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to run away. Neither would it be good to get in a fight, it would be impossible to fight the hunk Xenia and the other Panthers in the basement. Someone kicked Cooper in the face and she fell back on the cold floor.
“What the fuck are you doing?!”
Xenia slowly approached the screaming Jen in anger: “Watch what you are saying, punk. We used to be friends, but you betrayed me! You are nothing but a worthless piece of shit for me! And if you don’t shut your fucking mouth we’ll kill you both!”
Cooper started crying even louder and she ran to hide behind Jen.
“Let her go, she’s got nothing to do with this. Your anger is aiming towards me, isn’t it?” said Jen with a shaking voice and pushed Cooper up the stairs. The girl used this chance and ran upstairs as fast as she could. An older Panther wanted to run after her, but Xenia held him back with one hand: “Let her go and cry, the big baby. We’ll have some fun with her tomorrow. We’ve got a more important guest amongst us now,” she nodded to Jen smilingly. Two black guys grabbed Jen by the shoulder and forced her down on her knees.
“What have I ever done to you, bitch?! You make me puke!” screamed Jen almost in tears. But she won’t show any humilty towards Xenia. If she has to die, she’ll die with pride.
One of the black guys tied up her hands behind her back and the other pulled her hair back forcefully: “Watch out how you are talking to the leader, bitch! Now go kiss her feet and cry that you are sorry! We might have mercy with your pitiful life then!”
A girl with devilish red hair laughed aloud: “Yeah… we MIGHT!” The others started laughing with her, but Xenia’s countenance remained the same.
“Tell me that you are sorry for what you said! Tell me that you are a slut and beg for mercy! You better do so!!” Xenia kicked her twice in the stomach and in the head. Jen’s nose started bleeding and the salty taste of blood soon reached her lips.
“Never…” she muttered back and the laughter of the other Panthers suddenly stopped. It’s gotten serious and they knew what was going to follow.
“Alright,” Xenia shrugged in a played nonchalantly manner and gestured to a younger blonde girl, who’s been sitting in a dark corner all the time. She quickly hurried to her leader and handed her something.
“Let’s show you our lovely photo collection,” she smiled devilishly and put the first photo right in front of her bleeding face. “Now this is Mr.Monday,” she dropped the photo and showed her the second one “This bitch was a pain in the ass on Tuesday,” and continued with the third “And this dude’s unlucky day was obviously Wednesday.” Jen held her breath as she glanced at the pictures of corpses lying in a puddle of blood. The third photo was Mike’s. Tears were rolling down her hot cheeks, but her eyes were wide opened and she wasn’t sobbing. They’re not going to get her down… never.
“You bitch.. you killed Mike..” she muttered again and closed her eyes, to push the horrible picture out of her mind. So that’s why she didn’t see Mike today in the streets…
The young blonde girl was staring at her like enchanted by something. When Jen opened her eyes again she remembered that she knew the girl from somewhere… Yes, damn, it was Cooper’s half-sister! She’s come to visit Cooper in this flat only twice in her whole life. The girl was still looking at Jen, not blinking even once.
“Give me the knife,” said Xenia to her.
“I can’t…”
“Give me the fucking knife!” she took the knife out of the girl’s grip. “If you disobey me again, you’ll end up just like this bitch in a few minutes!”
The blonde girl retreated a few steps back and untied Jen’s hands. “Pray,” she whispered to Jen and left again to her dark corner.
Jen put her hands together and started praying. If there’s a god, he must help her family. She didn’t think her life was all that worth, she’s never reached any big and important goals in her life. But her siblings are still young, they’ve got all their lives before them. If there’s a god, he must help her family… The quarrel and laughter of the Panthers soon got overvoiced by a gospel chor in her head. They were singing Eternal Grace, just like on the sunny sunday three weeks ago.
Jen glanced at the shining knife. Is this how she was going to die? Is this the final end? She remembered that movie she saw the other day… the guy in it said that before you die, you see a quick flashback of your life right in front of your eyes. She closed her eyes again, but there was nothing. She didn’t see her mothers smile, nor a sunset. Neither was there Mike or her first boyfriend. Not even Joe’s Ice-Palace in weird blue-yellow colours. He always said it gives the café an Italian touch to it. And then Mike laughed at him and teased him that ‘Joe’ is not an Italian name… and then… Joe got mad and cussed in the only two Italian words he had learned from an old mafia movie. On saturdays he would give Jen the rests of the half melt ice-cream which he couldn’t sell. He would put it all in a big bowl, a little pink… and green… and mmm brown…. and….
Jen opened her eyes and got blinded by the shining knife aiming towards her head. …and black….
———————————————-
Two girls got so sick by the view of a knife stabbed right into Jen’s forehead that they threw up on the corpse. Xenia laughed hysterically and kicked Jen’s motionless body several times, before she got bored and told the black guy to clean up the mess they’d made.
Ivy bend her knees and wrapped her arms around them. She hoped that no one would notice her in the dark corner. She wished that darkness would embrace her in its own quiet lust, she just wanted to dissapear this very moment… The smell of death was still so fresh. The reddish blood making a bigger and bigger puddle around Jen. Ivy was scared, because she didn’t feel anything. Her feelings were numb. There they were… all the wishes and hopes of a young girl, whos life has just begun, drowned into blood.
“Hey you,” called Xenia after her. “Give me the polaroid camera.” Ivy obeyed without questions. “And remember, if you disobey me again like you did before, you won’t be under our protection anymore. You are a Panther, damn it! No mercy! It makes me want to shave off your blonde slutty hair, bah..” She spat on Ivy and left the basement witht the others.
After an hour or so, she woke up and realized that she’d fallen asleep in the basement. All the memories came back to her. The red stain on the floor and a terrible smell were still there. The corpse was gone, though. She slowly headed upstairs, the stairs not so familiar any more. It was cold and she wrapped the scarf tighter around her neck, until she started breathing heavily. When she raised her eyes from the floor, she saw the janitor, her step-father, covering the graffitis in the corridors with red paint. Red. Red. Reddish blood pool… His hand moving up and down, his sleeves covered with the paint, red dripping down the walls and the brush. Up and down… Red. Red. RED.
The doors in the corridor opened quietly, one after another. People peeking in fright after Ivy. When she turned back, they would close and lock the door in a hurry.
She could hear Cooper’s hysterical crying and screaming.
“God, you never gave me the chance to tell her that she was my only friend!!!” Ivy tried to ignore her half-sisters mad screaming, which filled the corridors.
A woman stood there next to the janitor and cleaned the red paint, which had dropped on the floor, with a dirty cloth. She was the only one who turned to Ivy and pierced her with her tired, emotionless eyes, without turning her head back in fright. She knew what had happened. All the frightened eyes peeking behind the wooden doors knew the story. And no one wanted to be the next. No one wanted to be Friday’s victim.
Ivy’s eyes were still fixed to the woman’s eyes. It was the first time that a humble “Sorry, mum” wouldn’t make everything alright again.