Space is eternal it seems. On going, never ending and definately not forgiving. What we must do to move through these years of life is exhausting, emotionally and physically. Each day, becoming more and more difficult to get through. Those of us forced into a life of sun up to sun down pay the most. Society seems to think it can force everyone to follow one set of rules and cast out the rest who refuse, to that burning hell of insomnia. Or is this just the life that those of us who are different chose to live?
The strange looks I get don’t bother me as much these days. It seems more and more people are becoming more accepting of the black this and black that. It is the hateful words that I sometimes hear from family memebers or from those I cross pathes with on the net. Am I just that sensitive? Or just reading too much into everything…… I don’t know. Fear of friendship, trust and pain drive me to be the anti social bitch I am. Try to fit in, perhaps so and also trying too hard as well. Try to help others, develop a place where there are no boundaries and no rules save for what one has for themself. Moderate oneself, show the maturity so many are looking for. To no avail. Melancholic, yes that much is true about me. Self pity? Not so sure. I am strong, however sometimes this life is most definately trying on my nerves.And then there are the darker aspects of life. The trouble with eating and the overwhelming brightness of light that hurts my eyes. The troublesome nightmares that have plagued me since childhood that most I’ve told them to, well they just shrug it off and think I’m crazy. Perhaps I am, I really do not know. I know what I feel inside and I know what has happened to me in the past, past lives and so on. Living in a fantasy world, maybe. But there are things I have seen and experienced that seem very real. Perhaps they are real and I am just falling victim to my own wicked ways and needs.Question is, are we just puppets in a larger world? Or maybe, we are just someone else’s imagination on overload. The world is a stage and we are only the actors upon it.Brightest Blessings~*NightWild*~