I’m almost to the point of tears everytime his face comes to mind. He’s always there but never close. Right in front of me but so distant. We died. I’m not sure when or how.. but it happened..
For once in my life I felt true love. No, not between lovers but between friends. I’ve never had love before, never from family, relationships or friends. Just him.
I thought he was the most incredible person I knew and will ever know in my life.
He knew my weaknesses, my strengths, my fears, my past, my feelings, my thoughts. He knew me deeper than I knew myself. He could call me on any feeling I was hiding from him, or was attemtping to. He made me laugh when I was crying. Helped me through tough times. He was the only person I’ve ever loved.
It’s strange now. When I speak to him, there’s nothing to be said. I was so comfortable with him around before, but he gives me butterflies when he comes around now, and not the good kind. I’m afraid to tell him what’s on my mind. Afriad to even smile when I’m near him. He doesn’t hug me, ask how I’m doing, or even smile at me. I don’t know what happened.
As I sit here and think of him, I realize that all good things must come to an end. Though I never wanted it to end.
The thought of him used to make me smile on my worst days, now the thought of him brings about my worst days. What happened to what we had? Where did everything turn sour? Was it because of me? Why won’t he tell me what’s going on? How could I let this happen?
All these questions never to be answered.
I think of the times we had fun together. Whether we were with people or just making fun of our own sillyness.
Those times are over though.
I think of him and my eyes well up with tears. My heart becomes heavy. I lose myself in the memory of his picture.
His eyes, I loved his eyes. I’ve never been an eye contact kind of person but I could look in his eyes forever. Swirls of blueish-green and hazel, enchanting. Now all I have is a memory.
Where did it end?
Memories…I hate memories…they remind you of times long since past. I despise my memories probably because almost all memories I retain are bad. I have been with two girls exactly like the guy you mentioned. Hmm….I loved them…still do,but we are more like best friends now than like we were when we were together. Farewell…
“The past is a ghost that haunts you from the moment it exists til the moment you don’t.” ~ Dark Wanderer
What can i say? im in the same situation
-sighs- love is stupid, theres my conclusion.
Strangely, I used to be one of those people who thought love was ridiculous. Now that I know what it is I know how much it can change you and affect everything you do.
Tox fell in love with a guy she couldn’t have. Tox was crushed by the only person she ever loved in her life. Tox now thinks she is a fool to have been as blind as she was. Naive. What’s she to do? Get over him as most people would say. How does she get over the one person that has ever meant a thing in her life? The person that gave her a reason for living.
I talk in the third person sometimes. No particular reason why, it’s just nice to not say me, I, and myself.
I know what you mean by ‘naive’. When you’re in the presence of the one you care for most even the most obvious things seem distant because love clogs your senses.