You wished I existed before you ever knew me
You knew I existed before you met me
For years I was an idea in the back of your skull
hoping praying dreaming
That I would pop out of thin air
Wishing I could live outside your brain
Fearing to close your eyes because when you opened them
I’d be a figment of your imagination
Invisible intangible ethereal Not There
Like some bad LSD vision cursing you to believe in nothing
Feeling jaded 8-12 hours later when you come back to yourself
In an abandoned parking garage with a sore back and tear filled eyes
hoping and dreaming I was there had jokingly given you my phone number for you to lose in your purse
like change makeup brushes breath mints your mind
Praying I wasn’t just some vapor from a lonely manhole cover you had talked to for half a day
sharing fantasies stories childhood anecdotes
You tell all your friends about the man you created worshipped killed
They know your still not all there
They leave you sitting at home on your old dusty couch
Wondering if I existed before you met me or only lived after the sugar was on your tounge and your peak had reached its zenith