Why Can’t I stop….

1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut 4…push me over the edge, and I’ll cut one more…

I don’t care how unoriginal it might seem. Or totally cliche as it may sound to those who have not done it….but cutting works…

Yeah I’m a goth…but that has nothing to do with it, I’d actually prefer not to label myself at all, and just be me. Apparently me is gothic so… anyways… I know that people have gone through worse depressions then me, and have handled it better…but i handle it by cuttting… when your already labeled a psycho and has to visit the school counseller every two weeks so they can “checkup” on me…You think thats bad, they don’t even know about the cutting…what does that tell you… I’ll tell you…it is really hard to cover up scars on your arms in the middle of summer… but i just cannot stop…once you start…you can’t just quit..it’s like an addiction. i did it whenever i was stressed, untill i picked up smoking, when i was angry, as to not hurt anyone else, and when i was depressed, which was alot…It just leaves an incredible feeling…everything bad in the world just goes away, nothing matters. All that you focus on, is you and the blade..and its wonderful. I was getting scared becasue i found that even when i wasn’t really depressed, that i wanted to cut. My arms are an intricate piece of art work of scars big and small. I even read up on it because i wanted to know what was going on…and apparently the adrenaline rush that cutting gives some people, realeases hormones that cause some sort of small addiction. Oh well, I’m not even sure about what I’m writing about anymore. My guess is that my little pathetic, tortured soul story ceased making sense awhile ago. You most likely think I’m weak willed or something because i can’t deal with my fucked up shit without hurting myself in some way. Oh well, I don’t care, if your a cutter out there then you know what iI’m talking about..and that’s all tat matters i guess. I loathe life. If it wasn’t for my girlfriend i would kill myself. I will now quit boring you with my inane babble….


By NiceAndBloody

hello, my name is Bryce, im 16, im a goth, a geek, lots of things.